Dear Prudence | Advice On Relationships, Sex, Work, Family, And Life

Danny Lavery welcomes Dylan Marron, author of the book Conversations with People Who Hate Me, and the host and creator of the critically acclaimed podcast by the same name. Marron recently joined the writing staff of the Emmy-winning hit television series Ted Lasso. Lavery and Marron take on two letters. First, from a letter writer who doesn’t want to give up on his once supportive dad. Another letter writer wants to stop bickering with her husband over house chores. Plus, the story behind Marron’s book and podcast, Conversations with People Who Hate Me. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: mood@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Maud Newton, author of Ancestor Trouble: A Reckoning and a Reconciliation. Lavery and Newton tackle two letters. First, from a letter writer who doesn’t want to tell her new boyfriend about her cancer diagnosis. Another letter writer is worried that her favorite aunt can’t stop talking about her political organization. Plus, a deep dive into Newton’s new book, Ancestor Trouble: A Reckoning and a Reconciliation. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: mood@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Jessica Nordell, a science journalist and the author of the book The End of Bias: A Beginning. Lavery and Nordell take on two letters. First, from a letter writer who’s at her wits end with her friend’s racist comments. Another letter writer has caught her friend faking the symptoms of autism. Plus a deep dive into Nordell’s book, The End of Bias: A Beginning. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: mood@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes June Thomas, co-host of the Slate podcast “Working”, which explores the creative process. Lavery and Thomas take on two letters. First, from a letter writer who is wondering how to be comfortable in their own body when their sense of self is constantly changing. Another letter writer is wondering if they should tell their friend that they saw their date committing domestic abuse. Plus, Lavery asks Thomas about the inspiration for her forthcoming book about lesbian spaces. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: mood@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Marissa Gouverne, a documentary and commercial editor living in New York City. Lavery and Gouverne tackle two letters. First, from a letter writer who’s wondering how to avoid the same mistakes when dating. Another letter writer is asking how to maintain extended family relationships after cutting off their parents. Plus, Lavery and Gouverne talk about Steve Allen, Fred Astaire, and low grade ailments. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: mood@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Daniel Shannon, a senior software engineer and technical lead at Vox Media, where he works on digital editorial content. Lavery and Shannon take on two letters. First, from a letter writer who’s wondering if her cousin is “love bombing” their girlfriend, and if she should say something about it. Another letter writer is asking what to do now that they realize they don’t respect a friend that they’ve been supporting for years. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: mood@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Esther Jaffee, a marine microbiologist who specializes in algal biochemistry. Lavery and Jaffee tackle two letters. First, from a letter writer who caught her boyfriend lying about his plans to move away with her. Another letter writer is wondering if it’s time to tell off their boss. Plus, Jaffee shares the latest and greatest from the world of algae. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: mood@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes author Heather Havrilesky, who recently published the book, Foreverland: On the Divine Tedium of Marriage. She also writes the Ask Polly advice column. Lavery and Havrilesky take on two letters. First, from someone who feels resentment over a former lover’s new relationship. Another letter writer is wondering whether sharing an old family memory will be helpful or harmful. Plus, a deep dive into Havrilesky’s new book. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: mood@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Kyle Turner, a queer freelance writer based in Brooklyn, NY. Turner is a contributor to Paste Magazine, and his writing on film and culture has been featured in The Village Voice, GQ, Slate, Vanity Fair, and the New York Times. Lavery and Turner tackle two letters. First, from someone who's not sure if they should identify as a lesbian give their history. Another letter writer is wondering how to support a close friend who is moving far, and also not get in her way. Plus, Turner shares about his Stephen Sondheim’s Follies themed birthday extravaganza.  Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: mood@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Laura Leigh Abby, a writer and star and subject of a new documentary podcast series from Paradiso Media called Seventeen: Conversations with My Teenage Self.  Lavery and Abby take on two letters. First, from someone who's worried that her wife will discover her bullying past. Another letter writer is wondering how to get her husband to stop suggesting that she tries polyamory. Plus a look into what inspired Abby’s new documentary podcast.  Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: mood@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes comedian, author and host of the Emmy® Award-winning docu-series United Shades of America, W. Kamau Bell. Bell is also the director of the new Showtime docu-series called We Need To Talk About Cosby, which wrestles with the conversations of the #MeToo movement.  Lavery and Bell tackle two letters. First, from someone who was taken aback to find out that their team considers them a “toxic boss”. Another letter writer is wondering if they should make more of an effort to connect to a trans community. Plus, a deep dive into Bell’s w Showtime docu-series, We Need To Talk About Cosby. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: mood@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Sarah Marshall, and a writer, media critic, and host of the modern history podcast, You’re Wrong About. She is also the co-host of the “feelings podcast about movies” You Are Good with Alex Steed.   Lavery and Marshall take on two letters. First, from someone wanting to approach their neighbor about their barking dogs. Another letter writer is concerned about scaring off a romantic relationship because of their non-traditional chosen family. Plus, Marshall takes us behind the scenes of her two podcasts.. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: mood@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg, author of the forthcoming book: On Repentance and Repair: Making Amends In An Unapologetic World. Lavery and Ruttenberg tackle two letters. First, from someone wondering if she should let her fiancée know that she doesn’t like her friends. Another letter is contemplating returning to a religious cult after experiencing the outside world. Plus, a behind the scenes preview of Rabbi Ruttenberg’s forthcoming book, On Repentance and Repair: Making Amends In An Unapologetic World. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: mood@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Michael Gerber, the editor and publisher of The American Bystander, an all-star print humor quarterly.  Lavery and Gerber take on two letters. First, from someone trying to stop her girlfriend’s mom from insulting her daughter as being “too butch”. Another letter writer is concerned about a one caring neighbor who has now turned creepy. Plus, Lavery asks Gerber about his favorite zines.  Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: mood@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey listeners! Here's another podcast from Slate you might like. For three years, Stoya and Rich Juzwiak have been giving advice to Slate readers on all things sex—mismatched libidos, secret desires, (bad) sexting, surprising fetishes, and assorted other wild things. Now they're joining forces to answer their most jaw-dropping questions yet, sometimes with the help of special guests. Whatever you want to know about sex—truly, whatever—they'll tell you how to do it. If you like this episode, subscribe to How To Do It wherever you listen to podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Kyle Lukoff, a pre-tipping point transsexual who used to be a school librarian but now writes children's books full-time. Lavery and Lukoff tackle two two letters. First, from someone who’s close friend is shaming them for having a long distance relationship. Another letter writer is overwhelmed with the choices at a sperm bank. Plus, Lukoff talks about publishing his first board book.  Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: mood@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Colette Arrand, a transsexual poet from Athens, Georgia. She is the author of the poetry collection Hold Me Gorilla Monsoon, and is the editor of FanFyte, the wrestling section of Fanbyte Media. Lavery and Arrand take on two letters. First, from someone who can’t stop thinking about their partner’s dating history. Another letter writer identifies as a lesbian, but is getting push-back from her friends. Plus, Lavery asks Arrand about her lifelong passion for poetry and wrestling. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: mood@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Wendy Lee, an associate professor in the English Department at New York University. She studies and writes about the history of the novel and philosophies of emotions and is currently working on a new book called Jane Austen & the End of Life. Lavery and Lee tackle two letters. First, from someone who wants to have a third child, despite her husband’s concern about passing along a rare genetic condition. Another letter writer is depressed about getting cut off by her close friend, and is wondering how much she can push for answers. Plus Lavery and Lee discuss Jane Austen and her devoted fans, or “Janeites”. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: mood@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Ali Vingiano is a filmmaker and actor, whose work includes writing and producing for the Emmy-winning series The Morning Show, and starring in her first feature film, The End Of Us. Lavery and Vingiano take on two letters. First, from someone who is exhausted by people trying to guess why she is ill. Another letter writer is mortified that a neighbor has started angrily knocking on their door while they’re having sex. Plus, a deep dive into Vingiano’s first feature film, The End Of Us. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Give the gift of Plus to a fellow Slate fan and they’ll receive all the benefits of membership: unlimited reading, ad-free listening, bonus content, and so much more. Learn more here. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: mood@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Danny Lavery welcomes Olivia Charmaine Morris, Founder & CEO of Black Monarch Entertainment. Her new IG Live lifestyle series, "The Tea," invites celebrity guests to participate in intimate conversations.  Lavery and Charmaine Morris tackle three letters. First, from someone wondering if the grief they feel for a teacher from their distant past is out of proportion. Another letter writer is trying not to get discouraged in finding a musical mentor. Our final letter is from someone whose close friends always start dating each other. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: mood@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices