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What is Defensiveness? Defensiveness occurs when individuals feel emotionally or psychologically unsafe, leading them to put up barriers in communication. It can manifest as fight (verbal aggression) or flight (withdrawing and shutting down). Defensiveness often indicates past experiences of betrayal, disrespect, or invalidation that leave people on guard. Causes of Defensiveness Traumatic experiences or past emotional injuries. Triggers from discussing sensitive or difficult topics. Hypervigilance, where individuals expect others to hurt or criticize them, based on prior negative interactions. How Defensiveness Shows Up in Communication Aggressive responses like "Yes, but…", which aim to shut down feedback. Violation of boundaries, where defensive individuals invalidate others' thoughts and feelings to protect themselves. Resistance to feedback or unwillingness to listen and engage, often resulting in emotional shutdown. Impact of Defensiveness Breaks down communication, creating a barrier to re