Counselor Toolbox - Addiction, Counseling, And Mental Health Continuing Education | Recovery | Relationships | Clinical | Psy

### Summary #### Introduction - Presenter: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes - Topic: Listening without defensiveness - Goals: Understanding causes of defensiveness, enhancing assertiveness, and reducing defensiveness #### Understanding Defensiveness - **Defensiveness**: Indicates a lack of safety; behavior or feeling when feeling unsafe. - **Causes**:  - Prior negative experiences (verbal/physical aggression, invalidation).  - Low self-esteem leading to fear of rejection.  - Triggering topics related to trauma or powerlessness. #### Creating Safety 1. **Recognize Emotional State**:   - Defensiveness arises from feeling unsafe or powerless.   - Brain prioritizes fight or flight over processing information. 2. **Criticism vs. Behavior**:   - Separate criticism of behavior from criticism of self.   - Understand that feedback is about actions, not personal worth. 3. **Constructive Feedback**:   - Take useful parts of feedback and leave the rest.   - Consider the intention behind feedback; if it's aggressive, set bounda