Perfbytes

Just a short list of IT experts from around the world on this episode - including some of my home town folks from Minnesota, student test scores in India (AGAIN!), and a pub in the UK closes it's doors and it's web sessions, the caffeine junkies lucked out during a Starbucks outage! James sounds a general warning to all British fashion houses: prepare ye all for the spare commeth!

New innovations around HTML5 and media-rich web sites, ya know those moving pictures you see on the page? Sometimes they are streamed to the client from a massive back-end infrastructure for streaming media. With any hope however, you're listening to this file-based download of a podcast which is not streaming live to you. We talk about optimizations and tools and acceleration and we try really hard to avoid mentioning internet porn. This episode is formally sponsored by our dear friends at www.soasta.com and www.smartbear.com! Check 'em out!

Let's take a trip around the world on this episode of News of The Damned! We visit impalas in Australia, a muse, a dead monarch and trainsplitting in the UK and then wrapping up with crashing media moguls, the book of Mormon and non-scalable stanardized test sites back here in the USA! BBBhwwwwaaaaaahahahahahahahaaaaaa!

You might think it's a slow time of the year for website outages...given that everyone blew up back in the holidays, but hold on to your jackelopes! We've got McGraw Hill punishing students being in Indiana, Kanye West stomping innocent shoppers with shoe sales and and tourist wannabe's in upstate New York getting huffpost'ed to death. It's a great day for them all to join the PerfBytes News of The Damned! BWaaahaahaahhaaaaaa!

You guys all know that the current HTTP protocol specification is just way too slow - seriously, we need to invent new protocols if we expect to be successful with this whole internet of things stuff. Scott Moore joins us for a great conversation about his recent postings digging deeper into this new HTTP2 re-working of the SPDY protocol from Google. Howard hammers at the ROI statements while James and remain skeptics on this "jackelope" of a protocol innovation. This episode is formally sponsored by our good friends at www.smartbear.com and www.soasta.com

Web Parts Gone Wild!!! In this episode of PerfBytes Howard and Mark chat with the performance evangelist Andreas Grabner from DynaTrace as we dig deep into the dirty secrets about Microsoft's Sharepoint platform. Whether it's tuning app pools for optimal threading and CPU utilization, or cleaning up those crazy custom list elements, Andreas has tips to help even the most seasoned Sharpoint developer make some improvements! We missed James on this episode due to technical difficulties. This episode is formally sponsored by our good friends at SOASTA (www.soasta.com) and SmartBear (www.smartbear.com) - check 'em out!

Greetings to all you PerfBytes listeners, Lucifer once again introduces another round of stories about websites crashing and the punishment of innocent end-users. We cover more charitable ticketing websites, Chelsea football, New Orleans tax assessments, college entrance exams and the UK National Lottery! It's all Bwwwwaaaahaahahahahaaahaaaaa!

That's right, there are 10 simple things that every developer should know...about performance, of course! HoCho takes us on a tour of specific things that developer engineers should keep in mind about coding for performance, whether it's about discrete resource handling, memory management, threading or network latency. They should keep a grasp of these basics before they write the first line of code.

No, you are not having deja vu or a reality-bending time distortion - it's true...Princess Kate joins us once again after she crashes the Madderson London website with baby bump #2. And that's not all we've got for ya on this episode, Korea joins the UK and Australia in crashing ticket websites, the UK government bond website takes a dump on aspiring investors and Scout.com appears to have done absolutely nothing to prepare for the crushing load this Spring. Bwwwwaaaahaahahahahaaahaaaaa!

When you email us a question or suggestion to our email ask@perfbytes.com, this is what happens. Sandeep clearly listened to all the episodes so far in the history of PerfBytes and pointed out that we hadn't covered Web Services performance testing specifically. He was right. So Sandeep, this episode is for YOU!

Survived the holiday mayhem? How about some official mayhem from the evildoers at Allstate? In this epside of NOTD we'll start examining the simple web performance deficiencies that may have led to the site outages. We welcome Allstate, New York City, PJ Harvey, Michael Buble and Glitterbombing to the News of The Damned!

What better way to renew your faith in performance testing than to review a short list of the few simple things to keep in mind for your engineering efforts. "If your mistake causes such a massive outage that it harms innocent people...most likely you've actually committed a performance deadly sin, of some sort." In this episode, HoCho joins the show as we also list the Ten Holy Performance Commandments that you can share with your PM or Oracle DBA.

Thank you to our sponsors and listeners for making 2014 our best PerfBytian year yet! Now becoming a tradition for the third year in a row, James and Mark review the best, worst and most hilarious experiences of this 2014 year of performance. We're checking in with Prancercize.com, mentioning the website that shall not be named and nominating a nude actor to the be the PerfBytes Person of The Year. This episode is formally sponsored by our good friends at www.smartbear.com - check it out!

Despite their attempt to expand Black Friday and Cyber Monday into an entire week-long shopping boondoggle in 2014 there were a few online retailers who still toppled under heavy load, increased mobile traffic and infrastructure vulnerability. James and Mark suggest a few steps to take in your post-holiday review, what kinds of traffic to examine, what kinds of tools to consider and how to prepare for longer load testing before 2015 holidays. This episode is formally sponsored by our good friends at www.smartbear.com - check it out!

A few great outages to delight our friends in the underworld including Big Billion day in Bangalore, celebrity weddings and baby announcements, shoes from the future and not all comments about legal discrimination in China are being treated equally. Satan delights at yet another round of punishment and suffering at the hands of IT evildoers.

Do know about all that stuff running overnight, all night long, that sometimes fails in the middle of the night? And then it completely ruins your day when your boss comes to your desk and asks: "Did you ever test that settlement reports job?" Ooops! On this episode of PerfBytes we'll answer an email from ask@perfbytes.com with tips on testing and optimizing batch job performance. Episode formally sponsored by our good friends at www.smartbear.com - check it out!

This holiday season is going to be filled with gadgets - lots of little whiz-bang, awesomely cool, mini-computing, battery-powered doo-hickeys that will promise to make your lives easier through the miracle of mobile micro-computing platforms. Unless of course, the guys who make those gadget apps didn't think about testing performance before they pushed into production. In this episode James and Mark chat about all the little bits that have to work together to bring you ultimate in gadget satisfaction! This episode is formally sponsored by the good folks at www.smartbear.com, please check 'em out!

It’s Apple, Motorola, Canadians, Dehli Housing Authority, naked famous actors and free lasagna on this global episode of News of The Damned from back in September of 2014. There’s no endless free bread sticks when there’s crashes with streaming systems, ticket systems, content distribution systems and overloaded databases. That guy is still screaming as the website keeps spinning. Bwaaahhaaahaahaaaaaaa!

Posthumous posting from earlier this year, James and Mark cover a small suite of satanic shame in this episode of PerfBytes' News of The Damned. Airlines, passengers and raw materials used to make air planes are all melting down at the same time - at least the planes themselves are staying in the air. We see innocent charities hammered by kindness and still Vincent Price keeps laughing as websites keep crashing.