Criterionauts

Joey and Brian attempt to cleanse their movie watching palates with a healthy dose of schadenfreude. It doesn't work.

Visit the store at explosomagico.com for 8.5 hours of Godzilla Premium Mega show! Only $4!

Joey and Brian suffer through the most unsexy sex filled movie they've seen to date. You're going to need an new Criterion score card after this one, because all the boxes are getting checked.

Joey and Brian lean into it and delve further down into the depths as they explore Lars Von Filmguy's ANTICHRIST. There's a He, a She, a dead kid, and a very heavy log.

TThe Criterionauts journey to the realm of the SCANNERS. Where buckets of plot are saved till the end, shotgun squads are decimated on the reg, and warble voiced mind talking is hard to take seriously.

The filmsplorers embark on a relatively tame mission after the harrow experiences of Salo. GDT's first Wampire feature still holds up despite all the toilet blood.

The Criterionauts face their most challenging challenge to date. Salo, or the 120 days of sodom, assaulted the brave explorers with such fury that the effects will be felt for years to come.

Our 3rd premium show is out, and it may be the best one yet. $4 for 7 and a half hours of Starship Troopers themed madness.

Mission 7 takes the Criterionauts back in time to Modern Times as they experience life through the eyes of a brain damaged factory worker known only as "The Little Tramp." Oh and there's an attractice underaged homeless girl too. Modern Times!

Our latest mission takes us to the student film filled stopmotion world of Equinox. Follow Joey and Brian as they witness films dumbest non-heroes mercifully get wiped out by a slobbery park ranger with a dick ring.

The Criterionauts journey to the LSD-infused, blood-soaked sex dreams of House and barely make it out with their sanity intact. Those Japanese sure know how to party. It's a super good time, you guys.

Our latest mission takes us to the student film filled stopmotion world of Equinox. Follow Joey and Brian as they witness films dumbest non-heroes mercifully get wiped out by a slobbery park ranger with a dick ring.

Criterionauts Reinisch and Carney embark on their first english language mission where they are treated with a shocking amount of nudity for a 50 year old movie.

Mission 2 casts our explorers into the bizzaro mysterious world of France. Where young women eat spaghetti on a daily basis, smoke, and always sleep naked. Stay tuned for fluids of all kinds, long musicless scenes, and of course... more spaghetti.

Criterionauts Joey Reinisch and Brian Carney suit up for their impossible mission. To boldly watch culturally significant movies and expand their tiny brains. We now join our heroes for their first mission: Seven Samurai. Do YOU like...films? Ughh