Square Roots - The Classic Rpg Podcast

One mage with a challenge: lose it! One crazy week to make his sexy dream a reality. That's the 1980s sex comedy that is one part of one quest today as we cover the beginning of Act III in Dragon Age 2. Also: - BioWare's Ominous Tilty Cam - A 3D Puzzle Made of Meat - Johnny Joins the PC Police - A brief appearance by Carol Channing - Far too much Hot Gaming News This Week: We complete the Act 3 Companion Quests Next Week:  We finish the Felicia DayLC and Legacy! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

THREE HUNDO EPISODES! Even though Jim is still on location this episode is chockablock with Jim related Sqaure Roots Trivia to celebrate this arbitrary milestone! In this episode Hawke's mom gets a new look, you take a quick trip to the Fade, Fenris the Wooby touches peoples hearts, and so much more! Also: - Vanessa's Star Fox Shipping and Anthro Mating Rules - Mother Loves Mister Castle - Feynriel's Anxiety Dreams - Jim Related Trivia Fest - FRIDGE. THAT. MOM. This Week: We finish Act II. Next Week:  We complete the Act 3 Companion Quests and Felicia DayLC Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

In this chunker of BioWare's Dragon Age II we start with a heartfelt apology to Sweden. We promise to never again mention The Normal Chef. It's a two hander with Johnny trying his best to host as they tackle Varric's Tale. Also: - The Hottest Hot Gaming News in a Decade - Gum Songs - Everyone's a Celebrity in England - Aveline's Dating Skills - Eluvian Repair Kits - A Lot Of Stuff Happening, Also Nothing Happening This Week: We complete The Long Road, Mirror Image, Dissent, Black Powder Courtesy, and Prime Suspect! Next Week:  We finish Act II. Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com In this chunker of BioWare's Dragon Age II we start with a heartfelt apology to Sweden. We promise to never again men

Jim and Vanessa talk to Dragon Age II's executive producer, Mark Darrah on the creation of Dragon Age II as well as the state of the industry. Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Get Deep Roads deep into Dragon Age II with us in this spelunking episode of Square Roots! We recruit Isabella, don't recruit the Qunari mage, and at least for one of us a party member dies! Also: - I want sonic to help me put on underwear - Vanessa's Felicia Day Beef and Felicia DayLC - A 10 Minute Cullen Chat - Croissandra With A Side of Sour Cream - A man with some kind of gutters - It Was Sassy Frassy This Week: We complete the Deep Roads Expedition! Next Week: We complete The Long Road, Mirror Image, Dissent, Black Powder Courtesy, and Prime Suspect Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Everyone is here for the start of Dragon Age II, a game that is still widely available to play but figuring out how to get the DLC to work takes some doing. Still, has BioWare's divisive installment of Dragon Age improved with time? Or are its limits still as frustrating as ever? Who is Ted Donker? Find out the answers to these and much more on this week's Square Roots! Also:  - Maybe Too Much Hot Gaming News? - No One Knows What Ever Crisis Is - I'm Here To Kill Chaos - We Just Rag On Neelix For Like Ten Minutes - Adam Scott Chat - An Embarassment Of Floppy Haired Woobies For Vanessa This Week: We recruit all five extra party members in Dragon Age II! Except Isabella! Next Week: We complete the Deep Roads Expedition! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/4860

Hi! COVID wrecked our efforts to put out a Dragon Age II episode this week, but we do have a very special end of the year episode for you all to enjoy instead! This Week: We celebrate the end of 2021! Next Week: We recruit all five extra party members in Dragon Age II! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

NOW WITH 90% LESS CHIPMUNK VOICES! You probably saw this one coming: it's a two hander! Johnny and Matthew dig through the second disc of Metal Gear Solid, with Johnny finding it brisk and fun and poor Matthew feeling like it takes forever. But you've got some iconic boss fights, weird jokes, and completely reconstructed cut scenes between the original PlayStation version and the GameCube Twin Snakes. Also this episode: - Muscle Milkers - Metal Gear as Metroidvania - Matthew Can't Handle The Master Miller Twist - Gemome Soldiers - Johnny Can't Stop Saying Les Enfants Terribles - Two Games In A Row With A Shirtless Wrestling Match - So Many Fake Outs - This Game Is Twins and Liquid Is the Danny DeVito This Week: We finish Metal Gear Solid! Next Week: We recruit all five extra party members in Dragon Age II! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Co

Sure, it's not an RPG, but Konami's Metal Gear Solid IS a classic. And on this special holiday season of Square Roots we venture with Snake to Alaska, pretty close to where Santa lives. We try to make sense of the metal gear lore, talk about neuropeptides like we know what they mean, and Vanessa writes in an analysis of Meryl's big acting scene. Also this week: - Trashing the PS Classic - Twin Snakes Versus The Original - Has Kojima Ever Talked To A Woman? - Those Legs Are Connected To A Butt - "Nanomachines" - Boomer Tigersoft This Week: We finish Disc 1! Next Week: We finish Metal Gear Solid! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

For some reason Tales of Vesperia decides to squeeze about twenty hours of content into five hours of game, meaning there's a lot of reveals, narrative shifts, insane twists, and the most homoerotic wrestling match ever. But will Yuri and pals save the world? Is there really a final Necron? Who is the actual Sephiroth of the game? Also this week: - Can you vore a ghost? - Noted floppy haired boy Brian Doyle Murray - The The Doctor Is A Woman Twist - Yuri and Flynn Play Wrestle - The Insane Patty Reveal - Poople - The Last Real Boss Fight of the Game This Week: We finish the game! Next Week: We blow up the Hind D in Metal Gear Solid! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Oops! It’s all Sephiroths when we try to figure out just who will be the big bad of this chunker. Will it be the white haired Sephiroth with the magical sword? Or the other white haired Sephiroth with a magical sword? Or will it be that one guy who looks like Ginger Spice? There’s some apocalyptic action as we dive through this penultimate chunker! Also this week: Johnny & Vanessa Breakout Episode: Oops All Bad Games Aloysius, Frank Miller, and Dinosaur Entelexeia Cellphone Julia Louise-Dryfus’s Apartment in Troll LeTrack, Campbell Soup and Sparnod The Gender Buffet This Week: We finish Zaude! Next Week: We finish the game! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Alright, let's start off by saying I'm sorry for derailing this episode with increasingly cursed and horny acrostics. I made a mistake, and I'm sorry. Please put your little ones to bed before playing this episode. Also, things start getting dramatic on this spicy talkthrough of Namco's Tales of Vesperia. Betrayal! Twists! A bad guy is revealed! Also this week: - Estelle's Hamster Ball - Zap! It's News Time! - Cowboy Beep Boop - Hey, So What Happened Next? - There's A Bell Up On A Dais - Everyone Is Into Vincent D'onofrio! This Week: We... at least get to the Heracles, I'm not sure Next Week: We finish Zaude! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Will Yuri's trail of murder ever end? With an additional body count of two it doesn't seem to be stopping. Do we like his dark turn? Will Estelle stop murdering magical creatures? Will Karol stop complaining? (Jk jk we love Karol) Find out on this big ol' episode! Also this week: - Repede is my Hat Now - Pigeon Milk - Yuri's Hate Crimes - Don Whitehorse's Failson - A Reverse Whale Argument This Week: Arrival at Phaeroh's Crag! Next Week: We finish the Heracles! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

It's a rare Johnnyless episode as Vanessa, Jim and Matthew tackle this darker middle chapter of Tales of Vesperia. Yuri takes a dark turn, you learn even more about the guilds and the gang stars a whole new one - Brave Vesperia! Also this week: - Yet Another Ghost Ship - You Don't Marry a Magician - Punisher Yuri - Where's the Body? - KAROL SEDUCES A GUARD - Is Jim a Bootlicker? This Week: We get to the desert?! Next Week: Arrival at Phaeroh's Crag?! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Things happen this episode. Vast political movements. Intriegue. Subterfuge. Swapped letters. And we have a tenuous grasp of all of it as Tales of Vesperia's plot starts to really get going. I mean, we're still not even sure how to pronounce "Ragou". Also this week: - Dump Cake - Vanessa's Shocking Level Up - Too Many Sephiroths - Johnny is Distracted By A Broad Chest - No One Wants To Hold Out For A Heroic Mail Delivery This Week: Yuri flies away!? Next Week: We get to the desert?! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Let's just get this out of the way: we can't sing Yakety Sax. No matter who tries, we're just terrible at it. I'm not sure why this is an important part of this episode of Square Roots or what it has to do with Namco's Tales of Vesperia, but that's just the way it is. Also this week: - Inn-teresting - Talkin' About Blastia - The automaton's giant stone wiener - A sudden Matthew appearance - That's Cumore! - More Hot Gaming News - Gene "Wonderchef" Parmesan This Week: Our boat sinks!? Next Week: Yuri flies away!? Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

It's Halloween down at the Square Roots house, so we're playing the spooooooky classic JRPG, or Jerpig, Namco's Tales of Vesperia! It's like a cozy comfy blanket of JRPG comfort food, and we enjoy it. So when we're not debating Yuri's hair colour, we guide the party from a splurging fountain to a magical tree town that does NOT explode. Also this week: - Catchphrases - The Great Pumpkin Deposition - Less Than Jokes - The Cosmic Horror of Baby Fresh Eyes - Matthew Makes Us Feel Bad - The Hottest Gaming News This Week: We save the tree in Halure! Next Week: Our boat sinks!? Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

This week on Square Roots we blaze through the ending of the main questline like a dragon spewing fire! So much blazing! We defeat Alduin, and then things are... happy? Maybe? Also Grunk, Rimjob and Presto get Animal House end title cards. What would Gojira's end title card be? Consumed by Alduin? Also this week: - What Happens When We Don't Heckle Jim - A Spooky Fair - Click Click Blam - Guest Host Ira Glass - Spicy Tuna Cakes - Making a Bad Dragon Mould - Drauger Karens - Hakon Sprinklerhead This Week: We finish Skyrim! Next Week: We save the tree in Halure in Tales of Vesperia! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Oh shit! Square Roots has a beach episode! But, sadly, it's the kind of beach episode where all your favourites go on vacation! That's right: you got RimJob becoming a werewolf, Presto Kazaam meets up with her past self, and Johnny becomes a real Prince of Thieves. Also this week: - Delita is a Fvckboy - Regretting Just Playing Dragonball - Vanessa Murders Her First Wife - "He IS the Daedric Prince of Madness!" - Or is he the Daedric Prince of Great Prices? - Sexy Robot Kazoo Whistles This Week: Our Skyrim characters go on a holiday from the main quest! Next Week: We finish Skyrim! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

We're gonna be honest here: this is either going to be a really long chunker for you or a really short chunker depending on whether or not you choose a side or choose that delicious, delicious third option. But you wouldn't skip all these questlines that Bethesda worked so hard on, would you? Also this week: - Muscle Garfield - Alduin, World Tooter - Vanessa's Letter to Bethesda - Why Boys Not Hot? - We Are All Master Negotiators This Week: We either pick a side or negotiate a truce in Season Unending! Next Week: Our Skyrim characters go on a holiday from the main quest! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com