Square Roots - The Classic Rpg Podcast

Oh boy! It's time for further adventures of mural exposition, with Joan Allen calling Max Von Sidow a big nerd for caring about second age tryptarchs. On this chunker of Bethesda's Skyrim we need to get our hands on one of those fancy Elder Scrolls. But how?! By talking to a sexy Orc librarian, heading down to a magical mushroom kingdom, solving a spinny puzzle, and so much more! Also this week: - Who wins in a fight, the Eternals versus the Inhumans? - Conjure Flame Astronaut - It's Your Inn Now - Dwarf Ruins CD burning - Mixing Up Forsworn and Falmers This Week: We complete Elder Knowledge! Next Week: We either pick a side or negotiate a truce in Season Unending! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dor

Hello! We are having a vote! On our Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Our choices: Vanessa - Deus Ex: Human Revolution (2011) Jim - Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch (2011) Johnny - Alpha Protocol (2010) Matthew - Tales of Vesperia (2008) So join our $5 tier and vote! YEAH!    

Oh boy! We're deep into the legend of the Dovahkiin in this week's chunk of Bethesda's super beloved Skyrim! On this chunker we impress Daphne / Delphine, learn to shout, and meet a couple of dragons. It's great! Also: - Don't Think About Frasier! - Mind bending 1990s music videos! - It's like a blanket party but they're yelling at you! - Let Me Be Frank: Redux - Jack... Kirby?'s... Inhumans! - In Sweden he's just called the Chef! - Facbook Made Me Say That - What If Vanessa Goes To the Magic Castle - Johnny's Great First Date Ideas This Week: We finish the Blades quest Diplomatic Immunity! Next Week: We complete Elder Knowledge! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Since we're tackling a very non-linear open world RPG with Bethesda's Skyrim, this time we're doing things a little differently: after a main quest runthrough we each describe the adventures of our own very special characters. It's a surprisingly bug-free playthrough as we pull up in our cart to Helgen, where our executions await! Also: - The Jerky Boys Musical - The Vore Seasons - Presto Kazaam, Mind Freak - Godzilla's Bound Sword - The Friendzies Spell - Mads Mikkelson Cheekbones - Jerpigs - A Song For Straight Men This Week: We fight our first dragon outside of Whiterun! Next Week: We finish the Blades quest Diplomatic Immunity!

Teleport is a kind of go. Drive is a kind of go. Imagine? Also a kind of go! How many kinds of go can you name? In this climactic conclusion to our Legend of Mana playthrough, our hero has to go through pretty much every dungeon in the game chasing our favorite li'l cactus. Also: - A Secret Kawazu Game! - The Most Popular Toy in the World - A Bizarre Sin Stance Change - Vanessa's Nuclear Mana Tree Theory - Pelican Mouth Injuries This Week: We finish the game! Next Week: We fight our first dragon outside of Whiterun! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

We ask so many questions in this chunker of Square's Legend of Mana. Would Gilbert's lines work on a real woman? Can you cure amnesia with another concussion? Would a visual novel be better with real photos? Will the X-Files FMV game ever be re-released? Also: - Deep Insight into Diddle - Virtual Jerry Orbach - Is BDG a centaur? Is Adam Driver a monster? - Manhattan, Kansas Narrowcasting - A game that makes more dick jokes than we do? - Matt's Superman Style Story This Week: The Wimpy Thugling Next Week: We finish the game! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Vanessa leaves early so you night what that means: BOYS NIGHT. We're getting into the back half of Legend of Mana, and starting to wrap up some plotlines. Aren't you curious about Matilda and Irwin? Valerie and David? Also: - Johnny and the Horrible Nightmare Beach - What does Ayn Rand have to do with it? - THE BONE FORTRESS! YEEEEEAH! - Tell Me More! - What is Pig like? - Next game announced! This Week: Catchin' Lilipeas Next Week: The Wimpy Thugling Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Content Warning: Suicide We're descending into the underworld and making some strange allies in this chunker of Squaresoft's 2000 cult classic Legend of Mana. Also: - Vanessa's Magician Crush Origin Story - "I Thought He Should"? - Legs That Go Right Into His Feet - Big Mouth Billy Bass - Diddle's dark descent - Stars Spin As They Fall When You're Trying To Catch Your Breath This Week: We finish The Guardian of Wind! Next Week: We finish Catchin' Lilipeas! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

We're really getting into Legend of Mana now as we make our way through this complicated but simple action RPG. A lot happens, we think? There's incredibly depressing junkyard toys, pinglings, a walrus man and... a turtle?! Also: - Terrifying Nightmare Cactus - Matt's hot Jojo take - Johnny and Jim's Bunk Beds - Dubba Baba Dud - Trying to Politely Describe the Necklace Pearl Has This Week: We finish the Murmuring Forest! Next Week: We finish The Guardian of Wind! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Alright, now we move on to a new game: Squaresoft's bonkers Legend of Mana! If you're expecting Secret of Mana 2, it's not that, it's more like... a complicated board game that doesn't tell you how to play it combined with fun side-scrolling brawler. On this episode: - We get an exclusive 30 second celebrity interview! - Placing a Mailbox: a complicated decision - Johnny licks his foot - Jim and Matt's Legend of Mana Punishment - Diddle's Nightmarish Form - Why the Square Roots House smells like smoked meats This Week: We complete the event Path of the Blacksmith in Legend of Mana! Next Week: We finish the Murmuring Forest! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com This Season's Theme by Javagore

We found it! We found the Odyssey, and truly, the real lost odyssey was the friendships we made along the way. On this big ol' chonker episode of an episode we chop through most of the end game content, from Cooke getting proposed to by the Kelolon King to Prince Sparklepony learning the true value of bravery. But that's not all! - Vanessa tries to trick Jim into dressing like a magician - Yellow is wind? Or should it be brown? Or should it be Bronwyn? - Gongora's Celebrity Roast - Johnny's secret Christian musical theatre past - Towers of Annoy - Mister Potato Head Made Fun of Me - You may hear hints about what the next next game is This Week: We finish the game! Next Week: We complete the event Path of the Blacksmith in Legend of Mana!   Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com This Season's Theme by Javagore

We all head to the garage to become certified stoneologists like Jansen in this penultimate episode of Mistwalker's Lost Odyssey! There's a lot of content in this chunker as we start exploring bonus areas, do a Final Fantasy VI style minigame, and fight our... Personas? Topics covered include: - What Gongora's Deal is - Is Ming the real villain of the game? - Wine Time! - Matt's Stand Up Shower - Gongora's Grace Jones Outfit - Kirk Cameron's Fireproof This Week: We prepare to head to Grand Staff! Next Week: We finish the game! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com This Season's Theme by Javagore

Jim is lost in a flower mound this week but the rest of the podcast crew is here! We're finishing Disc 3 of Mistwalker's Lost Odyssey, and it's some real Final Fantasy VI style split path fun times! We've got the children Cooke & Mack freezing to death, Seth bonding with the relectant King Tolten and reuniting with her 65 year old baby boy Sed, and Jansen and Ming starring in a 1990s love ballad music video. Also: - Do Not Let Your Easily Started Dog Listen to the Podcast - Nap Queer - Member Hit - Toadmore, Frogmore, Stompingham - Gongora Blood Guzzle - GRAPPLE TANKS! - MOMMA! This Week: We finish Disc 3! Next Week: We prepare to head to Grand Staff! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com This Season's Theme by Javagore

We're barrelling through Disc 3 like a freight train into a glacier in this catastrophic episode of Square Roots. Running at almost 50% cutscenes this chunker features that kind of Disc 3 FMV destruction we all love! Also: - Michael Emmerson Fan Club - Matt Talks About A Weird JRPG For Ten Minutes - More on the Magic Hyphen Industrial Revolution - Matt demands an explanation of Goatse - A slanty castle! - Giving Matt a Burn Notice - Kaim's Poly Relationships - Vanessa's Small TV This Week: We return to Uhra (as Seth)! Next Week: We finish Disc 3! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com This Season's Theme by Javagore

We finish Disc 2 but still don't know for sure if Aneira is a dragon, or a bird man, or something, but we do know one thing: Gongora isn't interested in those HAMS. Also: - Vanessa Versus Sydnee McElroy - Need for Speed: Hot for Soup - Buying Items From a Crow - Stories about shoes, deadly flowers, and sticking with your wife - Hot Supernatural Gossip This Week: We finish Disc 2! Next Week: We return to Uhra! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com This Season's Theme by Javagore

Disc 2 of Mistwalker's Lost Odyssey has a lot going for it: there's Resident Evil mansions, bizarre magic abilities, a ton of Thousand Years of Dreams stories, a possible dragon, and of course underwear. Also: - Jansen's sketchiness gets to even Vanessa - Fillibust In Me: The Many Songs of Marina - A very beautiful lullaby that is also a tuneless dirge - Vanessa the Sand Witch - Johnny says Composite in a Canadian way - Vanessa says Puma in a fascinating way This Week: Kaim rescues the old sorceress! Next Week: We finish Disc 2! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com This Season's Theme by Javagore

We start getting into the tear-filled meat of Mistwalker's Lost Odyssey in this emotional rollercoaster of a chunker. In this episode: the longest funeral in a game ever; two actually non-annoying children; and the further adventures of Prince Glitter Pony! Also: - That One Episode of GI Joe Where Everyone Dissolves Into Mud Puppets - Jansen's Problematic Techniques - Wells for Boys Energy - Bob Sagetting the Kids - Jamiroquai Glasses Improving Cutscenes This Week: Kaim defeats the tentacle monster Obsidian! Next Week: Kaim rescues the old sorceress! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com This Season's Theme by Javagore

Rid of the curse of Kingdom Hearts for now the gang stumble onto Mistwalker's Lost Odyssey - a cult classic JRPG that flew under the radar back in 2008 in spite of an expensive ad campaign. Is it Sakaguchi's comeback? Or annoying and full of pointless stories? We're all pretty split on this one so far! Also: - International Cheese Day - A Leaky Staff - Her Chest Lacked the Swellings of a Grown Woman - Big Sidekick Energy - Prince Sparkle Pony - #FriendsReunion This Week: Kaim goes to jail after defeating a big ol' wormy boy in Lost Odyssey! Next Week: Kaim defeats the tentacle monster Obsidian! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com This Season's Theme by Javagore

The gang has mixed feelings over the ending of Kingdom Hearts 2 and are left with a lot of questions, like: - Did any of this make sense? - Why did Johnny yell at Matthew? - Does what happened to Riku make more sense than the Marvel movies? - Should you be pressing the Y / triangle button more? Or the X / Square? Or not? - How do you pronounce Saix? - And of course, the long requested: would you eat this summon? This Week: We finish Kingdom Hearts 2, Thank God Next Week: Kaim goes to jail after defeating a big ol' wormy boy in Lost Odyssey Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com This Season's Theme by GFATMusic

Things get a little off the rails at the start of this Square Roots when an ice cream truck constantly drives past Johnny's window, causing him to lose all focus. But! We go back to your favorite Disney lands for another dose of direct to VHS sequel adventures, as well as... - Matt Learns the Word Cheugy - Peter Pan is Actually Pretty Cool - Reading things "Burger Time" - Crackers in the Bath Tub - Vanessa Finds Out About Other Vanessa - Sorry Mommy! This Week: Agrabah 2, Port Royal 2, Halloweentown 2, Pride Lands 2 Next Week: We finish Kingdom Hearts 2, Thank God Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com This Season's Theme by GFATMusic