Dear Prudence | Advice On Relationships, Sex, Work, Family, And Life

Prudence is joined this week by Jason Carini, an attorney who works in recruiting for the legal industry in the San Francisco Bay Area.  Prudie and Carini tackle letters about what to do when you can’t help snooping for dirt on a job you left acrimoniously, how to deal with a coworker’s frequent incoming personal calls, what actions to take when the temperature at work gets so hot that you feel ill, what to do when your relationship with you dad changes because he stopped paying alimony to your mom, how to talk to your sister about preparing to be a caregiver for your parents, how to handle resentment towards friends who seem to care more about animal rights than the suffering of humans. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Hari Kondabolu, the star of the Netflix standup special Warn Your Relatives, and the critically acclaimed documentary The Problem with Apu. In 2018, he was named one of Variety’s “Comedians to Watch.” He will be in New York City headlining Carolines on Broadway from January 23rd through the 25th. Prudie and Kondabolu dig into letters about what to do when your friend took and shared photos of you in a medically induced coma, how to handle your anxiety when your wife walks naked in front of your children, how to get your dad to stop calling strangers “sweetie” or “kiddo”, what to consider when your transitioning twin chooses a name that triggers you, what to do with a boyfriend who re-gifts his second hand belonging to you at birthdays and holidays. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Grace Lavery, an Associate Professor in the Department of English at UC Berkeley.  Prudie and Lavery tackle letters about how to decide if you should you let your best friend raise your troubled daughter, what to do when neither you nor your girlfriend have living situations where you both can hang out in, how to know if you are gender nonbinary, should you apologize to your fellow commuters after accidentally playing a particularly provocative part of the Dear Prudence podcast on your phone’s speaker, what to do when your nephew’s act of stealing an item of your clothing is driving a wedge through your whole family.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Jordan Blok, a queer non-binary science communicator, research administrator, and hoop earring enthusiast based out of LA, and Prudie regular, Grace Lavery, an Associate Professor in the Department of English at UC Berkeley.  Prudie, Blok, and Lavery dig into letters about what to do when new friends who are a couple may be coming on to you, what to consider with a boyfriend who seems to be homophobic stemming from a childhood sexual assault, what to do when you strike out dating women after having had no problem dating men, does an annulment mean your are divorced or you were never married, should you oblige your abusive ex-wife’s request to process your divorce in therapy 25 years after the fact.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Grace Lavery, an Associate Professor in the Department of English at UC Berkeley, who occasionally feels like she has an alien in her throat.  Prudie and Lavery go back and look at some of the many memorable letters of 2019 that were addressed with the help of Francesca Fiorentini, Justine D’Souza, Connor Goldsmith, Helen Rosner, Clementine Ford, Nichole Perkins, Bim Adewunmi, and Alexandra Petri. Prudie and company tackle letters about if you should tell your friend that her porn and weed addicted fiancé might not be “the one”, what to consider about hanging on your secret that you gave away your boyfriend’s dog, what to do when a DNA kit reveals you married your first cousin, what to do when a member of your fine dining club can no longer afford to pay, but insists on coming anyway, what to know when you keep having dreams about your ex-boyfriend even though you will never be together again in reality, what to do with a boyfriend who spontaneously masturbates while you’re lai

Prudence is joined this week by Mistress Justine Cross, a lifestyle dominatrix and BDSM consultant based in Los Angeles. She also owns and operates Dungeon East, a minimal, modern paradise, and Dungeon West, its atmospheric West LA counterpart. She is the boss of everyone except her cat. No one is the boss of cats. Prudie and Cross tackle letters about what to do when your friend’s husband threatens violence towards your dog, how to handle coworkers who trash-talk a colleague you’re secretly dating, how to continue your open marriage after losing your “wife approved” partner, what actions to take after discovering that your daughter intentionally jumped in front of a moving truck, should you leave your perfectly good roommate situation to live with your boyfriend, how to handle a family who constantly misgenders you.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Vi

This a preview of this week's Dear Prudence mini-episode: The Tattoo Anxiety Edition. Prudence is joined this week by Glynn Washington, the host of Snap Judgment, which is heard on over 400 NPR stations every week. He also hosts the podcasts Heaven’s Gate and Spooked.  Slate Plus members receive an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Glynn Washington, the host of Snap Judgment, which is heard on over 400 NPR stations every week. He also hosts the podcasts Heaven’s Gate and Spooked.  Prudie and Washington dig into letters about what to do when one of your roommates replaces your plush toilet paper with a more economy brand, how to handle a colleague who has a memory of hooking up with you decades ago, but that never happened, how can you avoid mentioning weight loss surgery when asked about your transformation, what to do when your neighbors' smoke alarm won’t stop chirping, how to tell your alcoholic in-laws that you don’t want them drinking around your baby. Plus, a voicemail from a woman whose ex-boyfriend is asking her to move out of the house that they both bought together. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Ella Baker, a trans lesbian writer and the host of How to Be Trans, a platform celebrating thriving transgender lives.  Prudie and Baker tackle letters about what to do when your girlfriend allows a strange coworker to live in your apartment while you’re away traveling, how to know if you quit your volunteer job for the right reasons, what to know when you discover you have herpes even though you’ve never had sexual contact, how to know if the rules you’re imposing for your 12 year-old daughter’s sleepover are transphobic. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Peyton Thomas, a freelance journalist and video game writer based in Toronto. His writing has appeared in Vanity Fair, Billboard, and Pitchfork. Prudie and Thomas dig into letters about how to handle feeling not non-binary enough for your trans boyfriend, what to do when your friend in recovery comes to your bar and orders a drink, what actions to take if you feel your fiancé has befriended a con artist, what to do when your partner’s lack of direction feels like it’s holding your own future plans back, how to let a new friend know that just because you declined a last minute hiking invite, you still want to be friends. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Aric McBay, an organizer, a farmer, and an author. He lives near Kingston, Ontario. His latest book is Full Spectrum Resistance, which explores how to build more effective movements. Prudie and McBay tackle letters about how to handle not being taken seriously because you look young, should you, as a straight man, speak up when you hear a woman objectifying another woman, what to do when your couch crashing brother takes advantage of your hospitality, how to decide if you should pay your friend for house sitting when he’s historically refused payment.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Dr. Ghazaleh Samandari, an integral development coach. Samandari has spent the last 15 years researching and advocating for women's health and rights around the world.  Prudie and Samandari dig into letters about how to handle a friend who accepts a job that you’re against politically, what actions to take when social anxiety in school has you skipping lunch every day, what to do when the woman your husband cheated with now works in your office, how to make amends to your friend after insulting her “ugly” used chair.   Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Alexandra Petri, a humor columnist for the Washington Post, author of A Field Guide To Awkward Silences, and also working assiduously on a new book! Prudie and Petri tackle letters about how to handle that you’re husband of 30 years may have given you an STI, what to do when you keep catching your mother having affairs, should you confront your friend who’s about to get married, yet still cheating on her fiance, how to be graceful when friends share news that you’re already familiar with, how to process your anger over a friend who worked on her laptop during your wedding vows. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Elizabeth Freeman, a Professor of English at the University of California, Davis, specializing in, among other things, Gender/Sexuality Studies.  Prudie and Freeman dig into letters about what to do when you feel like your bisexuality alienates you from most relationships, how to know if it’s safe to come out to your historically homophobic, but now mellowed parents, what actions to take when you discover that your teenage son has been secretly filming his sexual encounters with his younger girlfriend, should you tell your neighbors that you’ve had a view of their bathroom for years, what to consider when you feel sad about your perfectly wonderful life, as it’s not the life you dreamed about. The episode concludes with a somewhat sticky story from Freeman that you won’t want to miss!  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Vis

Prudence is joined this week by Jae Bearhat, a Seattle-based writer, zinester, and known Internet presence. Their work includes the Czap Books published comic Little Teeth, the Youtube critique series Film Critters, and over dozens of posts on Twitter under the name fussybabybitch. Prudie and Bearhat tackle letters about how to decide how much to financially support a stepdaughter that you see squandering the money she already receives, how to handle out of town friends who want to visit with their four kids and stay with you instead of a hotel, what to do when a visiting friend uncomfortably infiltrates your life, including flirting with your crush and using your vibrator, how to reason with your dad who refused to let you help your mom with her debilitating disease, how to decide if you should maintain a friendship (and secret crush) with someone who may have undiagnosed autism.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.co

Prudence is joined this week by Matt Martin, who recently launched TILT, a new brand of public media by and for young people to help them navigate an out-of-balance economy. Martin has worked in public radio for many years, including a long stint as a station manager of KALW-FM San Francisco. Prudie and Martin dig into letters about how to handle an annoying coworker that you ghosted but now have to occasionally see at work, what to do with an estranged father who persistently tries to contact you, how to stay sane while living with your climate change-denying dad, how to handle a fiancé who falls asleep on the couch every night, how to broach the subject of your inheritance with your estranged mother, who is also the executor of your father’s will.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Molly Priddy, a writer and editor living in Minnesota. She likes Diet Coke, her dog, and talking about feelings because feelings are the worst. Prudie and Priddy tackle letters about how to admit to your date that you’re a recovering alcoholic and you’d rather not meet in a bar, what actions to take when your best friend has joined a cult, what to do when you’re exhausted from supporting your friend’s year long quest for employment, how to decide if you should ask your dad for tuition now that you’re middle aged and starting school again, can you remain close with a friend who has been verbally hurtful to many mutual acquaintances. Also, Prudie and Priddy check out a voicemail from a machine shop worker who found out she’s making parts that will ultimately be used to help ICE capture people crossing the border.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn

Prudence is joined this week by Amira El-Sayed, a German/Egyptian Londoner who advises organizations around the world on how they can have a positive social impact. Prudie and El-Sayed dig into letters about what to do when you overhear your friend’s hair stylist says rude things about her, how to handle a friend who wants reimbursement for her travel points you thought she gifted to you, what to know about your mother who demands praise for every little thing she does, what actions to take when your boss accuses you of urinating in your chair, how to get a former flame to leave the condo that you initially let her stay in rent free.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Nichole Perkins and Bim Adewunmi, Perkins is a writer and co-host of the Slate podcast The Waves. Her first collection of poetry, Lilith, But Dark was published last year. Adewunmi is a producer on This American Life. Her play, Hoard, was published and staged in London this year. Together, Perkins and Adewunmi co-host the Slate podcast, Thirst Aid Kit. Stay tuned for a clip from Thirst Aid Kit at the end of the episode. Prudie, Perkins and Adewunmi tackle letters about what to do with a boyfriend who spontaneously masturbates while you’re laid out sick, what to consider when a colleague’s pettiness harms you professionally, how to handle a friend accusing you of being too fancy for ordinary camping, how to decide whether to invite your belligerent in-laws to your child’s baptism.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit meg