Dear Prudence | Advice On Relationships, Sex, Work, Family, And Life

Prudence welcomes you to our first international episode, recorded live at Storey Hall in Melbourne, Australia on September 8th, 2019. Prudie was joined by Clementine Ford, a Melbourne based writer, feminist and author of the best-selling books Fight Like A Girl  and Boys Will Be Boys. Prudie and Ford dig into letters about how to leave your cousin’s employ when you know it will shutter his business, how to manage time with your girlfriend when she works on the same block as you, should you act on your crush by dating an ex-student, what actions to take when you have a compulsion to look at your ex boyfriend’s social media long after you’ve moved on, what to know when you keep having dreams about your ex, even though you will never be together again in reality. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Portia Elan, who lives in Oakland and works as a Teen Librarian. A friend once described her as “farm strong.” Prudie and Elan tackle letters about what to do when your twin son and daughter are obsessed with a TV show centered around incest, how to handle discovering that your beloved Nana who raised you, held shocking secrets about your family origins, should you carry out your 11 year-old niece’s wishes that you out her to the rest of the family, how to move forward with parents who no-showed your same sex wedding due to faith issues, what actions to take when you find out your daughter’s first crush is for someone with many mental health issues. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Soleil Ho, the San Francisco Chronicle’s restaurant critic. She’s written for food and pop culture publications like Bitch, Food & Wine, Taste, and Wine Enthusiast and hosted podcasts like Popaganda and Racist Sandwich. Prudie and Ho dig into letters about how to handle anger towards your in-laws, even though they’ve moved past their initial homophobia, how to disclose your disability when entering the dating game, what to do when your boyfriend gets upset that you didn’t immediately disclose that you’re an adoptee, how to handle transphobic co-workers after finally accepting that you’re a trans woman, what to do with a mom who believes your high school girlfriend made you gay. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Melissa Dahl, a senior editor at The Cut, where she covers health, science and psychology. She is also the author of Cringeworthy: A Theory of Awkwardness. Prudie and Dahl tackle letters about what to do when you suspect you’re not with the right therapist, how to handle a step-daughter who suddenly decides you’re not her father anymore, how to tell your partner that her work stories are long and hard to follow, what to do when it becomes awkward with your group of friends after calling one of them out for being abusive to his girlfriend. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by author Sandy Allen. Allen hosts a new podcast called Mad Chat, which unpacks what our pop culture is telling us about madness and mental health. Prudie and Allen dig into letters about how to handle your guilty feelings after kicking out your cheating ex, what to do about your brother’s habit of oversharing intimate information about your parents, should you be worried about not feeling sexually attracted to anyone, what to do when you fear that your fiancé’s drama prone daughter might end your marriage before it begins. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Daniel Mallory Ortberg, a lover of peanut butter who---WAIT! Prudence is Daniel Mallory Ortberg. Buckle up for this rare solo flight. Prudie tackles letters about how to come out to your parents while also protecting the privacy of your genderqueer identical twin, how to bring up a complicated history of sexual assault issues to your new boyfriend, how to tamp down a tendency to “over support” your boyfriend’s acting career, what to know about starting a conversation about your inheritance when you’ve never talked about money with your parents before. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Vanessa Zoltan, a non-denominational chaplain, who co-hosts Harry Potter and the Sacred Text and its spin-off show Women of Harry Potter. She also has a new podcast, Hot and Bothered. Together they dig into letters about a mother who’s worried that her daughter’s fiancé is too good looking for her, how to handle in-laws who are dramatic in their requests to have you to cover up your leg with scars and missing toes, what to do when you’re too scared to tell your friend (who you have a crush on) that her son may have worms, how to handle a partner who likes to cook large meals, but is grossed out by leftovers. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Zoltan discuss a letter writer who’s wondering how to talk to her mom who voted for a politician that was instrumental in the loss of her job, and how to handle a friend who believes you ruined her wedding by sharing your cancer diagnosis. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now. Email: prudencepo

Prudence is joined this week by Connor Goldsmith, a literary agent at Fuse Literary, specializing in sci-fi/fantasy fiction and a variety of nonfiction subjects. Together they tackle letters about what to consider when a DNA kit reveals you married your first cousin, what actions to take when you want to see a sister who’s living with parents who exiled you for being gay, how to know if you’re ready to open up a ten year relationship to polyamory, what to consider when your friend with ADHD never returns the support you’ve given him, what to consider before reaching out to a biological sibling you’ve never met. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Goldsmith discuss a letter writer who is wondering how to handle accidentally buying a home one block away from a horrible ex, and how to handle a husband who is not at all gracious when your parents give him gifts. Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adcho

This is a feature episode of a new Slate podcast, How To! With Charles Duhigg. What if Dear Abby was an investigative reporter? Each week, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Charles Duhigg ("The Power of Habit") takes on listeners’ toughest problems and, with the help of experts, finds the answers to questions you’ve always wanted to ask, but couldn’t. Until now. Subscribe to How To! With Charles Duhigg on your preferred podcast app, or find it at slate.com/howto. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Sydney Hodges, a DC resident who, in addition to being interested in conflict resolution, is also a recovering armchair linguist who has found peace with only having a BA in Linguistics. Together they dig into letters about how to handle an aunt who is over the top in the gift giving department, how to get your work buddy back after regrettably offending them, what to know about wanting affection from your wife while you’re under the weather, how to decide whether to keep your distance or socialize with the employees you manage, what to consider when your social life stops because your friends don’t like your new husband. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Hodges discuss a letter writer who is wondering how to avoid being the babysitter and bank for a son who has nine kids from seven women, and what actions to take when your mother-in-law posts pics of your newborn without your consent. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now.  Email: p

Prudence is joined this week by Joey Garcia, the Sacramento News & Review's advice columnist, and on-air Relationship Expert for KTXL-40 TV. Garcia is also the founder of the Belize Writer's Conference where writers vacation with literary agents in her native Belize. Together they tackle letters about a woman wondering if she’s homophobic because she finds gay sex unattractive, how to handle an estranged father who now wants a “don’t discuss the past” relationship, should you tell your already fraught family that you had a daughter and put her up for adoption, what to consider when revealing to your adopted son that his birth mother was an addict, what to know about having a big old crush, even though you’ve been happily married for 7 years. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Garcia discuss a letter writer who’s wondering how to take more space from her parents while she processes her abusive past in therapy. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com Production by

Prudence is joined this week Kelly Anneken, an Oakland-based funny person and all-around swell gal who performs standup comedy. She’s best known as the host of The Handmaid’s Tale recap podcast Red All Over. Together they tackle letters about how to handle an opportunity to report a former teacher who sexually abused you decades ago, what to do when your partner’s sleep schedule is the opposite of yours, what to do when you’re turned off by your partner who promises sexy time that never happens, what to consider when the bride and groom don’t thank you for spending all year planning their wedding, how to decide if you should go to your father’s birthday when you know that an abusive aunt you haven’t seen in years will be there. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Anneken discuss a letter writer who’s wondering how to decide if she should stay with her porn addicted boyfriend. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your

Prudence is joined this week by author and activist, Aya de León, who teaches creative writing at UC Berkeley. She is the author of the Justice Hustlers feminist heist series, including Side Chick Nation, the first novel published about Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico. Together they tackle letters about what to do when a hiring manager calls your husband about a job that you applied to, how to handle nosy coworkers who question when you leave work to care for your son, what to do when your fat shaming, homophobic colleagues chastise you for not wanting to socialize, what to do when you suspect your Jewish faith is keeping your girlfriend’s Mormon family at a distance, what to know about planning on permanently staying “in the closet”, should you say something to your friend who is spending a lot of money on a mutual friend that already has a boyfriend. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and de León discuss a letter writer who’s wondering how to tell her mother that she’s moving to her country of origin, despi

Prudence is joined this week by Chrissy Macken, who runs a career coaching consultancy in Washington, DC with a focus on helping professionals break free from toxic work environments. Together they dig into letters about how to move past the embarrassment of your drunken behavior on your daughter’s wedding day, how to set boundaries with a business partner you also have a searing crush on, what to do about coworkers who constantly interrupt your private headphone time, how to get out of carpooling with a coworker who dumps her woes on you every morning, what actions to take when you discover coworkers making fun of your disability in social media. Also, Prudie plays a voicemail from a listener who feels her friend “over apologizes” in most situations. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Macken discuss a letter writer who’s disappointed that her friends aren’t celebrating her home purchase in the same way she celebrated their major life events. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prud

Prudence is joined this week by Marianne R. Williams, the Librarian-in-Residence and Visiting Assistant Professor at the University of Arkansas. Together they tackle letters about what to do when your absentee father wants back into your life, how to handle a friend who often slips into racist accents, what to consider when your husband admits he’s a sex addict, what to consider when your cancer stricken boyfriend wants to break up, what to do when you find your husband’s secret stash of sexy barbie dolls, how to decide whether to reveal a devastating truth to breakup the marriage of a woman responsible for breaking up your relationship. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Williams discuss a letter writer who’s mother’s connection to estranged family members on social media is causing a bigger family rift. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Tonya Mosley is the host of KQED's (NPR's San Francisco station) new podcast Truth Be Told, an advice show by and for people of color. Tonya also serves as KQED's Silicon Valley Bureau Chief. Together they tackle letters about how to handle regret over getting a step sister in trouble when you were a teen, should you still see your step kids after leaving your wife who cheated on you, how to handle a boyfriend who insists you can’t be friends with former lovers, how to know if it’s okay to ask someone how to be an ally and not annoy them, what to do when a colleague is stealing cupcakes you bought for your own team, how to handle anger towards a sister who bought a puppy from a breeder instead of adopting a rescue, what actions to take when you’re a POC confronted with the possibility of having to attend your husband’s racist family reunion. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Mosley discuss a letter writer who’s wondering how to handle a husband who gets offended when she

Prudence is joined this week by Corinne Segal, a senior editor at Literary Hub. Segal lives in Brooklyn with a preponderance of plants, stacks of poetry books, and an extremely loyal cat named Dill. Together they dig into letters about what to do when you notice men gawking at your daughter’s chest, what actions to take when your friends find a good friend of yours extremely off-putting, what to do when you notice your birth daughter may be gay, but she’s being raised by conservative parents, how to support a loved one with depression, even when they’re difficult to be around, what to do when your husband reneges on his promise to allow you a trial of a creative career. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Segal discuss a letter writer who’s wondering how to set boundaries with his family who is not accepting of his trans girlfriend. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod. Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined this week by Julian K. Jarboe, a writer and sound designer from Massachusetts. Their debut collection, "Everyone on the Moon is Essential Personnel", is forthcoming next spring. They can be found on Twitter @JulianKJarboe. Together they tackle letters about what to do when you’re suddenly responsible for a young niece and nephew that are practically strangers, should you propose to your boyfriend while also living in an intensely traumatic environment, how to handle a husband who believes masturbation is an act akin to infidelity, what actions to take when you discover the mom at your kid’s playdate house is always screaming at her own kids, what to know if you have suicidal feelings that you don’t want to share with your therapist, what to do when you can’t yet legally change your name, and you get upset when people use it. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Jarboe discuss a letter writer who’s wondering what to do when, as an executor of their will, you discover your relative had an