Dear Prudence | Advice On Relationships, Sex, Work, Family, And Life

First up: how Prudie and her ex, Jamie Shuler, bonded over Flowers in the Attic. Then, the two tag team your letters, starting with a workplace matter of misplaced credit. Then, onto sibling strife: My sister lied about her dog dying – should I confront her about it? My sister expects me to watch her kids on our family vacation, which I’m paying for. Help! And, I think I’m in love with my ex-step-brother. What do I do? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Writer and journalist Laurie Penny joins Prudence today to tackle your family and work quandaries! How can I convince my husband to buck social pressure and stick to being a stay-at-home dad? My apartment building reeks of pot and makes me nauseated – how do I make it stop without getting my neighbor in trouble? My husband keeps inviting his toxic father to visit and then ghosts me. Help! And finally, how do I stand my ground against harassment at work and still get tips? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Comedian Myq Kaplan joins Prudence for a heated conversation about stoves. Then, onto your letters: Is meat a good enough reason to end a relationship? Should I fight for more money to close the gender wage gap even though I’m fairly paid? My son won’t let me talk to his wife without going through him. Help! And finally, a listener weighs in on pig’s milk. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

First up, an opening statement from Prudence on the merits of 3D BC movies. Then, your letters! When is it okay to ask for exclusivity in a relationship? Can I cut down my reclusive neighbor’s dead tree? I’m trying to get back into the dating world, but last time I dated Tinder wasn’t even a thing. How do I do this? My boyfriend wants to be a “known” sperm donor for his friend, but I’m against it. I bought my son’s girlfriend a pregnancy test and her mom found out. Did I do something wrong? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudie’s brother-in-law Zack Turner joins to advise on your family, workplace and relationship dilemmas! First up: How can I get my mom to stop shaming me for gaining weight my first year at college? Then: my introvert boyfriend refuses to socialize with my friends. My former boss resents me for taking over her old position. Should I say something to a slovenly employee whose bad hygiene is making everyone sick? Can I accept a promotion while training to work in an entirely different in my free time? I’m a full-time retail employee with benefits, but my family keeps asking when I’ll get a “real job.” Help! Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined by novelist Esmé Weijun Wang to advise on a batch of your family and relationship issues. First up: I fell in love with my dead husband’s best friend – then my in-laws found out and all hell broke loose. Help! When’s the right time to tell a date I’m asexual? My parents expect me to be their free marriage counselor! How do I tell my verbally abusive father to stop visiting me at college? My relatives are blaming me for my sister’s wedding choices! Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudie learns about birthday spankings this week! Plus, how smartphones ruined pushing your friends into pools. Then, your letters! Should I report the employee who creeped me out at an internship I no longer have? How do I let my friends and family know I’m upset they bailed on my big birthday? I’m in a dishwasher war with my mom. Help! I just came out to my husband and kids – how do I leave my marriage without hurting them? Executive Producer of Slate Podcasts Steve Lickteig joins Prudence. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudie and guest Ben Gullard get real about handling criticism. Then they tackle your letters! First up, a new take on cat conundrums: My wife thinks I love our cat more than her and I think she may be right! I’m upset that my husband doesn’t want my son to live at home for the summer. And lastly, I want to be free to talk about gross things at the dinner table but my husband won’t have it. Plus, Dear Prudence investigates the origins of vaginal glue.Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudie kicks it off on a light note this week: we’re all going to die someday and the sky is scary. Then, onto your letters! My love worries that I’ll be giving up too much if we move across the country so he can take a rare opportunity. My husband refuses to go to the dentist and I don’t even want to kiss him anymore. How can I convince my partner I’m not going to “get over” autism? My boyfriend proposed and now refuses to talk about our wedding. How do I deal with an annoying employee? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

First off, Prudie’s open door policy: open doors for people when it makes sense. Then onto your questions: My MIL is telling my nine-year-old to give up on school because she’ll be a stay-at-home mom one day. My wife says she supports my transition, but doesn’t want me to come out or ask people to use appropriate pronouns. I think my cousin is using his girlfriend to get into a better med school – should I say something? And more on cat-stealing: how do I ask my neighbors if I can take their neglected cat? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

First, a plug for more rivalries to be battled out through the giving of jewels. Then, Prudence is joined by gem Ashley C. Ford to answer your questions! I got stuck with the dramatic girl in my night class to work on a group project – how do I handle this? My work suffered because I have depression and my bosses noticed – should I be open with them about what happened? My boyfriend gets jealous of my Facebook interactions so I blocked him – did I do something wrong? I’m overqualified for my job, but love the happiness it affords me – should I be more ambitious? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined by award-winning Bay Area writer Charlie Jane Anders to give award-winning advice. First up: my sister remembers a completely different childhood than me and it’s driving a wedge in our relationship. Then, some parental problems: My parents are controlling all my life decisions and it’s ruining my life; my mom forced me to get an abortion when I was young and I’m still traumatized. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudie says, nine times out of ten it is not a good idea to steal someone else’s pet. Then, your questions: My husband refuses to do anything about his snoring and it’s keeping my family up at night. My friend overcharged me for rent and lied about it, so I moved out and now our mutual friends think I’m the jerk. I’m not comfortable using the singular “they” to refer to trans people – could you make something else up for me? My girlfriend is jealous of my masseuse – what do I do? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jos Lavery is back to help with more of your questions! First, two very different letters about depression: my husband has disengaged from our marriage; a friend I’m not very close to anymore is using me as his only emotional outlet. Then, I like my stepdaughters better than my own kid – am I a terrible mother? (Plus, the secret to getting a young Dear Prudie to behave is revealed!) Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudence is joined by writer and academic Jos Lavery to answer your questions! First, my adult child just came out as trans – I support her, but when do we get to start talking about things other than being trans? A guy in my dorm sets an obnoxious alarm for early morning hours and then lets it sound for hours! I love everything about my boyfriend except his drug habits – is that enough of a reason to leave? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

First up: A beginners guide to Star Trek. Then, onto your questions: Should I stay with my narcissistic husband to protect my kids from him? Was I wrong not to tip a masseuse that overcharged me? Is it inappropriate for me to go to the funeral for my high-school ex’s mom? I’m a recovering homophobe – how do I get more comfortable with my lesbian roommate and her girlfriend? Gabriel Roth, host of Slate’s podcast “Mom and Dad Are Fighting” joins Prudence. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A request from Prudence: be the kind of Starfleet that you wish to see in the world. Then, onto your questions with awkward situation pro Emily McDowell. My friend surprised me by covering my hotel room for her wedding – do I need to up the ante on the gift? How do I politely inform my all-female office that women can pee on toilet seats, too? And some parental conundrums: Do I need to reconnect with my abusive mother? My mom wants me to call her creepy boyfriend “Dad.” Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Objectively, the worst thing that can happen is getting a thumbs down while driving. Prudence is joined today by writer Jasmine Sanders to advise a woman who’s worried her husband wants to adopt a child and she doesn’t. Then: how to act if you secretly disapprove of your friends sexuality; and how to handle a toy that may or may not be haunted. Plus, get your scary-doll-movie recommendations here! And be aware: Prudence is down to adjudicate your questions about the astral plane. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prudie is joined by herself on a very special solo episode of Dear Prudence. First up, a listener voicemail: My partner is worried our role playing is bad for me, but I don’t think it is. Then onto your letters! Then onto your letters! Will strangers ever stop commenting on my daughter’s red hair? My wife had an emotional affair with a friend, now that friend is trying to convince me it was more than that. Help! I’m pregnant with a child I don’t want, while my sister can’t conceive. How do I talk about this with her? And finally, how do I tell my co-workers I don’t want to talk politics, even if we agree? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you don’t like it when people say “no problem,” then you’re the one with the problem, Prudie says. Then onto your questions: How do I talk to my adopted black daughter about race? My husband won’t keep his hands off me in public! I’m gay – what next? Speaking of coming out, why does my friend call inanimate objects lesbians? Prudence is joined by friend and biochemist Brandon Taylor. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices