Abe Kanan

Episode 87 topics... 1. Lady answered phone and asked Abe if he was hungry 2. Lawyer was talking about details of case while taking a dump 3. ATM machines give you subtle hints if you're a degenerate 4. Abe and Bass want to be each others food sponsors 5. Telemarketer butchered Abe's name 6. Bass worked as a telemarketer in high school 7. Four-hour diet and fad diets 8. People who speak all of their text messages 9. Abe's retention tip and an equally good new tip 10. People who speak the hip new lingo 11. Puff Daddy's new song is the worst ever 12. Aerosmith video gave kids horrible message 13. Guy wore beats headphones while blaring music in his car 14. Impromptu Douchebag Power Rankings --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/abekanan/support

Abe Kanan on Fishing. Subscribe to the Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Podcast on iTunes here... https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/abe-kanan-on-hold/id860445250?mt=2 --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/abekanan/support

Episode 86 topics... 1. Facebook is full of useless information 2. Abe's pathetic trip to casino buffet 3. Guy was talking smack with chicken skin on his face 4. Guy with ponytail dipped the tip in water 5. People who tell you to wash your hands 6. Abe's mom always asks him if he has pressure in chest 7. The Misfits and other reunions 8. Rappers who stop you on the street and start rapping 9. Guys who used to sell speakers in parking lot 10. Guy sent a letter asking for gifts after wedding 11. Wedding gifts should be in escrow for a year 12. Guy at CVS couldnt say the word "diarrhea" --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/abekanan/support

Episode 85 topics... 1. Sludge returns to the podcast and excites Sam 2. Fantasy football talk 3. Sam in Training Day scenario would be hilarious 4. Ripping people off in Fantasy Football is great 5. Gene Simmons' song Christine Sixteen has questionable lyrics 6. Gene Simmons' sex tape was even more pathetic than Hulkster 7. People who use Kickstarter for pools and other stupid stuff 8. People who ask for prayers for their dogs on Facebook 9. Sludge and Bass only talk on Facebook Messenger 10. Sludge sneaks into Chicago like a thief in the night 11. Abe's slick move at piano bar 12. Smelliest celebrities list 13. Guys who have "man caves" are like little boys with bedroom 14. Draymond Green commercial and other bad commercials 15. Sludge's upcoming Dana White Interview 16. Abe's worst interviews talk 17. Abe hates candid shirtless pics holding babies 18. Sludge's Vegas trip 19. Sludge almost got killed by a Navy Seal after plane ride 20. People who want free stuff always want "a couple" 21. Online trashy figh

Episode 84 topics... 1. Balls and bending over in gym locker rooms 2. Guys who work out wearing Bane masks 3. The naked 7-second rule 4. Ted Cruz drops out 5. Open shower should be abolished 6. People who eat on the same side of the booth --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/abekanan/support

Episode 83 topics... 1. Lazy payroll people 2. Abe feels bad for Possum's 3. Chyna porn got the same reaction as horse video 4. Hipsters ruin everything 5. What do hipsters and metal guys sleep in 6. Abe can't wait to refer to twenty dollar bills as "Tubman's" 7. People who wait in line for hours to save four dollars 8. Guy got arrested for stealing fountain drink 9. Worker who looks confused every morning when Abe makes the exact same order --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/abekanan/support

Episode 82 topics... 1. Abe tagged multiple times on $1 sub story 2. Abe trying to change the time of daily bathroom emergency 3. Thumb in belly button technique 4. Harriet Tubman on the $20 talk 5. Why does anyone care about Andrew Jackson 6. Going to a concert in 1996 compared to 2016 7. If Sam was a rock star he would be the biggest jerk ever 8. People who ask for more free stuff, when offered free stuff 9. People who say they are leaving Facebook for a while 10. Pay Pal is the currency of shady transactions --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/abekanan/support

Episode 81 topics... 1. New addition to the "Things you can't look cool doing" list 2. Kate Hudson's new boyfriend and huge list of boyfriends 3. Bass almost got beaten up by NBA star Baron Davis 4. Abe caught in car dancing to a Kiss song 5. Sam inhales music like air 6. Guy puked on himself at Iron Maiden concert 7. Guy at gym who took Tinder pictures 8. Abe wants to hire Brock Lesnar to work at gyms 9. Talking to acquaintances is like a tree in the road 10. Cutting people out of your life is important for happiness 11. Technologically savvy ticket scalpers 12. Blanket Jackson's ridiculous name change --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/abekanan/support

Episode 80 topics... 1. Changes to the podcast 2. Sam getting a big wrestling type push 3. Abe's fake injury to not have to walk as far at concert 4. People who roll up one leg while riding bike 5. Recent calls to 911 6. Naked guy on expressway 7. Double locking buttons when seeing homeless guy 8. Advantages of underwear versus commando 9. Abe ate too much Lamb on Easter 10. Abe's idea for new religious jewelry 11. Media people with Game of Thrones screeners 12. Ethics on broadcasting 13. People who get stuff out of trunk at red lights --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/abekanan/support

Abe Kanan and Bass discuss... 1. Remembering Toronto Mayor Rob Ford 2. Greatest audio clip in the history of audio 3. Final Tweet before dying 4. Swearing every morning when you wake up is normal 5. Abe and Bass ate a disgusting(in a good way) meal 6. Hulk Hogan's lucky bandana 7. Jake the Snake sex tape next 8. Abe accidentally wore green on St. Patricks Day 9. People should wear red on Pulaski Day 10. Guy at Starbucks who kept kissing son on lips 11. Jesus sang Creed song during the Passion Live 12. Why is Jesus always a model on TV 13. It should be illegal to return online purchases --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/abekanan/support

Abe Kanan, Ryan Manno, and Bass discuss... 1. Bass' latest excuse for being late 2. Sam's hair trigger 3. Sox player retired because he couldn't bring son to work 4. People who bring kids to work 5. Jared from Subway got beat up in prison 6. Chumlee from Pawn Stars blew his golden ticket 7. Chumlee bar appearances in small towns 8. Old people hate fat people 9. St. Patricks Day in Chicago 10. Day Light savings time --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/abekanan/support

Abe Kanan, Ryan Manno, Sam Kanan, and Bass discuss... 1. Questioning Bass' whereabouts 2. Sam is sick of Abe's childhood stories involving him 3. Peyton Manning is like Forrest Gump 4. God doesn't care about football 5. Sam feeds his dogs in middle of podcast 6. Sandboxes are gross 7. Bass explains why he is always late for podcast 8. Hulk Hogans "dress" bandana for court 9. Hulk Hogan sex tape talk 10. Guy taking dump was offended by guy who farted 11. Lynyrd Skynyrd's twenty in memoriam candles --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/abekanan/support

Abe Kanan, Ryan Manno, and Sam Kanan discuss... 1. Abe's Mexican food double coma 2. Jumping up and down before using bathroom technique 3. People who say "thank you for your service" too fast 4. Abe consoled lady who fell at restaurant 5. Abe used foot to pick up a post it note 6. Ryan dogsitting Owen and Blu Blazer talk 7. Abe had incident with guy who buzzes him in at work 8. Guy in Abe's building apparently gets paid to sleep 9. "Fuller House" review 10. Sitcoms love hooking up single parents 11. Guy with a "The World Is Yours" tattoo 12. Abe's fake office --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/abekanan/support

Abe Kanan, Bass, and Sam Kanan discuss... 1. If Abe played for the Lakers, would he score? 2. Kimbo Slice fight was like a train wreck 3. People who talk about the weather all the time 4. Indiana should have their own news 5. Abe played in a poker tournament that gave away guns 6. Slayer concert and bloody people at show 7. Guy at Slayer concert was a real class act 8. Jeans with hammer loop 9. Seeing people who look completely different 10. Being an adult 11. Abe's cold and hot drving tip 12. Was Alice on the Brady Bunch a well treated slave? --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/abekanan/support

Abe Kanan, Ryan Manno, and Bass discuss... 1. Abe's first lunch incident with Bass, in new building 2. Abe clogged toilet on 1st day at new building 3. Guy kicked out of buffet after eating 50 pounds of food 4. Types of people who sue everyone 5. Abe leaving food for Bass is similar to Shawshank scene 6. Grammy Recap - Adele - Ice Cube's son - Bow Wow 7. Kanye busted for having Twitter writers 8. Abe would wear a life jacket on new Titanic voyage 9. Barber Shop played inappropriate movie around kids 10. Fake candid pictures of shirtless guys lying with babies 11. Fuller House and good news call reactions on 90's sitcoms 12. Couple had sex on Vegas Ferris Wheel 13. Knicks coach had sex with players girlfriends 14. NBA player reactions to slam dunk competition --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/abekanan/support

Abe Kanan, Ryan Manno, Sam Kanan, and Bass discuss... 1. Abe and Bass working in same building again 2. Abe doesn't want to insult Bass by not going to lunch 3. Abe is in a Walking Dead situation 4. Security guard gave Abe bathroom code, then smiled at him after he left bathroom and forced a conversation 5. The legend of Abe and Suge Knight's meeting in Vegas 6. Abe's wardrobe malfunction at the gym 7. Guy at Starbucks said Abe's name wrong, and then Abe was harassed by girl for getting "fruity drink" 8. Starbucks weird drink order names 9. Sam calling out Starbucks orders in College 10. Peyton Manning kissed Papa John after Super Bowl --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/abekanan/support

Abe Kanan, Sam Kanan, and Bass discuss... 1. Story about Abe meeting Suge Knight in Las Vegas 2. Superbowl Best Bet of the Week for coin toss 3. Sam's bowling team tryout 4. People versus OJ Simpson show 5. Kim Kardashian and Kato Kaelin 6. Abe took bites out of wrongly made sandwiches 7. Phil Anselmo racist remark 8. People who always talk about paying dues 9. People who always say, Sarah Palin is hot 10. Abe draws houses during classes 11. Sign that shined in Abe's apartment, came down 12. Radio talk show fake on hold names 13. Guy with skin tags made Abe an iced latte 14. Abe's daily emergency bathroom situation --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/abekanan/support

Abe Kanan, Sam Kanan, and Bass discuss... 1. Guy died in car crash while pleasuring himself 2. Sponsorship's 3. Ecoli outbreaks are best times to go to restaurants 4. Diseased sex offer 5. Birth control commercial is scariest commercial ever 6. Steven Tyler grabbed junk and then licked his hand 7. Which old rock stars are still cool to have sex with 8. Abe and Sam saw a random rock star 9. Homeless people hear car doors lock all day 10. Sam did all of Abe's assignments in a college class 11. Cheating in school is easier now than ever 12. All young kids should kick field goals --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/abekanan/support

Abe Kanan, Ryan Manno, Sam Kanan, and Bass discuss... 1. Podcast intros are dumb 2. MLK Day is a good day to see which of your friends are racist 3. Boycotting awards shows isn't effective 4. Lesbian thug stared everyone down at casino 5. If Abe were a lesbian, he would be a lip stick lesbian 6. Getting stared down shouldn't offend people 7. Guy from dealership calls Abe live during podcast 8. It's almost impossible to drive through Gary Indiana and not get a nail in your tire 9. Tim Cook took a pathetic in action picture with a drill 10. Guy who said "Google Me" at poker table 11. Poker tables are like prison lunch tables 12. Guy in gas station was praying in front of bongs 13. Sam's depressing tweets and David Bowie tribute --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/abekanan/support

Abe Kanan, Ryan Manno, Sam Kanan, and Bass discuss... 1. Reading old text messages is confusing sometimes 2. People who tell people to say hi to people 3. 2016 looks like it will be Abe's year 4. Crack voice never goes away 5. When people know our orders, we stop going 6. People who say "Happy Ne Year" a week later 7. Small talk is Abe's worst nightmare 8. When Abe was 13 he ate 3 Subway foot long subs 9. People outraged on Facebook when businesses close 10. Local New Year's programming is the worst 11. Jenny McCarthy's obsession with Bass 12. Donny Wahlberg was a douchebag on New Year's show 13. Day time TV is all 87 pound men and 400 pound women 14. Hicks are cops of their own land 15. People have forgotten that Tyga is a pedophile --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/abekanan/support