Fostering Voices Podcast

This week's episode is dedicated Chapter 1 of 'The Connected Child' by Dr. Karyn Purvis. This is a great book for all parents, but it is dedicated to the needs of kids who have come from hard places - so it is specifically for foster and adoptive parents. Over the course of Season 4, we will be going over different ideas from this amazing book. This week we talked about Corrective vs Connective Behavior. The goal is to always connect with your children! They often need to connect, before they can understand what you want to correct. Dr. Purvis also talked about the need to make a lifestyle commitment when choosing to foster and/or adopt. Kids need time to connect, and if your family is so busy running from one thing to another - there is no time to connect! SO, make time to connect with your family! One great way to connect is by playing games together as a whole family. Our family has recently started playing the Heads Up game. Download it on your iPhone or Android device. It's a great game for all ages! We

We often get this question from concerned parents - "Will fostering be harmful to my bio kids?" And it's a legit question. There are bad situations out there where some foster families have experienced pain and hardship with their bio kids, because of a situation that occurred while fostering. So yes, there is always a possibility of that. But there is a possibility that living a totally safe and sheltered life could still possibly cause pain and hardship for your children.  This week, we invited our precious pre-teen son, Topher, to join us on the podcast! He shares his experiences and input on foster care, which he has been involved with since he was 6 years old. We are incredibly proud of him, as well as all of our kids! You can listen to Episode 49, where our eldest - Lily, shared her views on being a foster sibling. We welcomed our new foster placements into our home this week, so we are officially a family of 9! For now! But we are so thankful for everyone who has supported us, and who continues to pray

This week we just want to encourage our fellow foster families out there! Encouragement 1: Sometimes your family, and even friends, may not be on board with your journey in foster care. You aren't alone in this! We have run into different people who have not been supportive of our choices. That's ok! We are still very thankful for the people who continue to walk by us! And we are here to walk alongside YOU! Encouragement 2: If you are in need of supplies - like clothes, beds, cribs, mattresses, birthday presents - there are resources out there for you! For Free! Check out your local Facebook Groups for foster and adoptive parents. We get lots of great stuff from various groups we are in. Also, we will throw out requests on our personal Facebook pages and we have gotten great things donated like bunk beds, an amazing trumpet, clothes, etc. Don't be afraid to ask others for help! We also just discovered Arizona Helping Hands, and they are amazing! Check them out if you are in need of anything! Encouragement 3:

This week we are happy to have an interview with Robert Watson, pastor, and newly published author! He wrote 'Upside Down Crown' which is now available on Kindle and at most major bookstores. The premise of the book is based on the only sermon that Jesus ever preached - which is the Sermon on the Mount (found in Matthew 5-7). There are so many lessons in it, and once applied to our lives, we find that we have peace and joy, instead of anxiety and disappointment.  You may remember that Robert was also on episode 31, where he talked about porn and sex, and this topic is also covered in this book, as Jesus refers to sexual purity in his sermon. This is such an important conversation to have with your pre-teen and older kids, and spouse! We know that you guys already know that, as episode 31 is in the top 3 most-listened to episodes we have! So, we encourage all of you to look at your heart, and not just your behavior. Do you just cheer Jesus on, but then refuse to get your hands dirty and join in on what he is c

Season 4 is here, and we are so excited to bring you 20 brand new episodes!  This week we talk about what our insane summer looked like, as we took 8 weeks off of the podcast.  It started with a marriage retreat with Don and Renee Worcester, who we have mentioned before. They are an amazing couple who really connect with people, and can encourage them in such a profound way. You can learn more about them on their website. We will share more about what we learned in an episode dedicated to the retreat! Then we went to Thailand! But before that, we had to get new passports for 2 of our kids, because we lost their old ones (as in the new passports we renewed last year!) After countless phone calls to the national passport office, we went down to Tucson to visit the Western Passport Center, and you can go there too, to find out if you are eligible to get your passports made THAT DAY. You have to make an appointment and have all the correct documents. But these fine folks, who have my heart forever, were able to g

This is the last episode of Season 3!  We do a brief book review on 'Garbage Bag Suitcase' by Shenandoah Chefalo. It's a memoir of Shenandoah's life - filled with difficult years with her mother and a man she thought was her father, and difficult years in foster care, and aging out of the system. This book is Heavy, and made Jihae feel a bit depressed for a day or two. BUT, it's not all depressing. Shenandoah shares her thoughts on how to improve the lives of kids in care, and they include boarding schools (like the Milton Hershey School and The Crossnore School), and fostering the whole family - mostly moms who are losing their kids to the system. Another highlight of reading this memoir was seeing a successful woman who overcame the odds. The children in care are not doomed to be like their parents. Mental illness is not a definitive life sentence for the next generation, neither is drug addiction, or abuse, or any of the things that we are afraid that kids are 'definitely' going to be like. Chris mentioned

This week we have a great interview with the lovely Lindsey Stamm, the Operations manager at Arizona127.  What is Arizona127? This is an AMAZING organization that exists to recruit, develop, and sustain foster family through training and events. They want to help foster children, and support the families who foster them. Follow them on Instagram to stay up to date on their trainings and events! (Lindsey manages this account and she does an amazing job!) For those who choose not to be a foster family, they recommend checking out these important ways of getting involved: - becoming a CASA (court appointed special advocate) which requires you to take a polygraph test and training. But well worth the time as you get to spend time with children in care, and be a voice for them in their case! - becoming a Mentor through Arizonans for Children, which requires 2 hours a week of your time. They also have tutoring and craft volunteer options available! The (Good) Word of the Day Whom have I in heaven but you?     And t

Gotcha Day. This is common vernacular for adoptive families. We just celebrated Wesley's this last week. But then we got to thinking - is that ok to call it that? How do adoptees feel about the word and the spirit of Gotcha Day? We opened this conversation up to Social Media, and we got a lot of really great responses. Most of our friends who have adopted like to celebrate this day as a family, as a means to lift up the culture that the adopted child has come from, and as a celebration of the great joy the adopted child has brought to the family. But a perspective that a lot of adoptive families are missing is that of the adoptee - especially if they have adopted very young children. But speaking to adult adoptees who are able to voice their thoughts and opinions - we got some of those! You can see the whole post here. We, at the Watson home, have decided to no longer call Wesley's adoption day 'Gotcha Day'. We will continue to recognize it as a celebration day for our family, and we do love to celebrate wit

A flamboyance is a group of 6 flamingos. And our guest this week, Anna Saunders, loves flamingos, and happens to be a part of a family of 6! Anna and her husband Woody, have been fostering for about 3 years now, and have had the privilege of caring for 11 children in that time! Some things we mentioned in our discussion: Something that Anna learned the hard way, is that sometimes kids will enter foster care if their parents are suddenly incarcerated, or hospitalized, and there is no one else to watch them. These kids will be in care for a mere hours, or days. The case worker doesn't know that for certain, and do they do not communicate this with the foster family. This happened with our 2nd placement, who we had for 36 hours. His mom was in the hospital for a moment. And Anna's first placement was 48 hours, and completely devastating because she thought she was going to adopt them, and she never had a chance to say good bye. The age that you must be to legally become a foster parent is 21 The Saunders a

This week's topic of discussion is to remember to be kind when communicating with others -whether it's your spouse, your foster kids, your coworkers, anyone you interact with! Everyone has things going on beneath the surface that you may know nothing about.     We need to understand that behind every behavior is a need. That need might be food, or sleep, or understanding, or connection. We need compassion when we are having a hard time, and others need the exact same thing! Daren Jones, a presenter at this year's Empowered to Connect conference, shared a simple video of a mom who is bottle feeding her baby, stroking his cheek, and looking into his eyes. It's such a simple, but profound image of what we all need, at any age - connection, sustenance, love. So whether you have a baby who is 4 months or 44 years, or anything in between, we are all in need of these things. The way that we communicate those needs will be different, but we need to try our best to communicate better on the talking side, as well as th

This episode is near and dear to our hearts as we have Kevin and Bekah Tinter joining us on the podcast! The Tinters are GREAT supporters of our podcast, as they listen every week, and have sponsored two $100 Amazon gift card giveaways this season! But more than that - the Tinters are the amazing family that has adopted one of our sweet foster babes! You have to listen to hear how the entire process came about - with its MANY ups and downs - and that's not just from the state, or the broken system. The main 'downs' came within their marriage, and in the differing hopes and expectations that Bekah and Kevin had. But the big 'ups' were when they were able to work through all of those downs! We also mentioned: - Focus on the Family as a great podcast to listen to, for Christian families. This helped get the wheels turning in Kevin's mind, that maybe they could get involved in foster care. - Relentless by John Bevere, is one of Kevin's favorite books that has helped him walk out his faith boldly! - 3 ways to know

We are finally able to talk about life after our sweet Winston Churchill! We had such a ridiculously sweet transition, and his current foster/hopeful forever family just blessed us like crazy. But we couldn't talk about it without crying, so now that it's been over a month - we are able to talk! We had Winston with us for 10 months, and it was a glorious, and tough, but joy-filled time for all of us. Add on top of that - Chris thought we might adopt him, even though Jihae did not feel called to adopt him. This episode walks you through our time with him, as well as what the transition to his new foster home looked like, and how we survived it all. Things that didn't go well: the 'transition plan' to move him over to his next placement over 2 weeks, with 2 weekend visits seemed almost unnecessary? We surely do not understand the inner workings of a baby's mind, so we can't tell if this actually helped him or not. after Winston left us, we saw him at church a week later. We are SO thankful that he gets

What is a GaL? Not just a cute name for a girl. A Guardian ad Litem is a lawyer, who is assigned to a child in foster care, and their job is to represent the best interest of the children they serve. If a child in foster care is 12 and older, they are legally able to request another attorney. The other lawyer advocates for what that child wants. The lighthearted example that Kim Turner shared with us is that a GaL will advocate that their client needs to eat vegetables every day, and their personal attorney can advocate that the child would like to eat candy instead. Obviously the issues are more serious, but that's a picture of the two lawyers' roles in a foster child's case. Definition of ad litem : for the lawsuit or action : appointed by the court to represent a client or estate in a particular legal action Merriam Webster There is recourse for GaLs who neglect to visit their clients before a court hearing! They must sign affidavits that state that they visited their clients! So if you are a foste

Do you think your kids may be abusing drugs? Do you know what signs to look for? This week's episode will help you to learn basic signs and symptoms of drug abuse. We have a great interview with the hottest law enforcement officer around. My hubs. Everyone's lives have been touched by drugs in some way, whether you have been a victim of a property crime, or maybe you have a relative who have become addicted to drugs. This is no different for kids in foster care, where it has been cited that 32% of kids are in foster care due to their parents' drug abuse issues. Some basic signs that your child may be abusing drugs: The medicine cabinet is suddenly emptier. The abuse of prescription drugs is very common. Make sure you are safely disposing of your unused prescription pills. Your child's mood and circle of friends changes suddenly, or strangely. Obviously children have mood swings, especially as they grow into adolescence. But truly knowing your kids, and knowing their friends, will greatly help in ide

People often ask us questions when they are thinking about starting their foster care journey, and we love to answer them! So, when Nati and Misael Estrada asked to meet with us, we recorded the conversation so that you can hear their important questions, and our semi-important answers! Some questions that we cover in this episode: How is it, dealing with bio parents of the foster child? What road bumps did you experience in trying to get licensed? (Our question to the Estradas. And they had a couple!) Why they chose not to go with private adoption Dealing with different religions of foster children How do you speak to kids about the fact that they are adopted? What are visitations like for foster children? How do you prepare for foster kids? Some important things to remember for new foster parents: Kill the martyr mentality that you have to go this road alone! This mentality that you can, and should, do this foster care thing without anyone else's help will make your journey much harder than it n

Dr. Carol Dweck wrote a great book called Mindset: The Psychology of Success, and we talk about it in this episode. Everyone talks about having a growth mindset, but how do you do that? What does that look like? And why is this so vital, especially for foster kids? Developing a growth mindset, which is not easy, or natural. But with effort and the right attitude, it can happen. In this episode, other random things we discussed: Where does the name 'Dweck' originate from? Carol Dweck is from New York (is NOT blond. My mistake) and is of Jewish descent. It is easy for kids (and adults) to have a fixed mindset, and it takes intentional language and attitudes to develop a growth mindset for yourself, and your children. Instead of complimenting children on the fact that they are smart, it is better to highlight the effort and attitude that went into their success. 'Hillbilly Elegy' by J.D. Vance We mentioned this book (very well worth the read!) and it's such a great example of having a growth mindse

This episode features our precious eldest child, Lily, who is almost 12, and has been a foster sibling since she was 7! Some of her favorite things to do are: playing Gaga Ball (What is Gaga Ball??), hanging out with her cousins, and running with her dad. Basically, she is an angel sent from heaven, especially since Jihae hates to run. In this episode, we also talked about: Electives. We completely forgot that word, and it never came to us during the episode. But it's 'electives' (Lily called them blocks), and the ones that kids have to choose from are so much cooler than when we were in Jr. High School. Going to the library! Especially during Spring Break! If you live in our area (Chandler, AZ), you should check out the Spring Break reading challenge they are doing where you can earn free In N Out!!!! Google what your public library is doing! Having a Gardener's, vs a Consumer's, mentality for your relationships. (Taken from ONE, a Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans). What this means is that

This week's episode is a book review of 'The Boy Crisis: Why our boys are struggling and what we can do about it' by Warren Farrell, PhD, and John Gray, PhD. This book was LONG and really informative. Definitely worth the time to go through. And it was written in 2018, so it is fresh and relevant, and hopefully in the next few years, we can make it irrelevant! General Synopsis: We are presently living in a society where we are often on one side of the pendulum. Back in the day, the pendulum certainly swung to the side of 'women/girls have no rights'. That was obviously not a good place to find ourselves. But now the pendulum has swung very hard in the opposite direction where women and girls are being heavily encouraged in every area of life (family, business, beyond) - and obviously this is NOT a bad thing at all, but it comes at the price of boys being left with a purpose void. It doesn't have to be this way, but it is. But we can change that! Can we all agree that we have the capacity to encourage b

We just jumped over a massive hurdle in our fostering journey, and it took a lot of prayer, a lot of patience, and a lot of communicating. And you know this is a big deal for us, especially as we are both pleasers! (Check out episode 26) So how do you resolve conflicts with your spouse? It is important to deal with your conflicts with your spouse, no matter how hard they are. Pretending they don't exist only makes them worse. Or even pretending there is peace, when there clearly isn't, doesn't magically make peace appear. Check out this episode to see how we overcame months of being on different pages about whether we should adopt our current foster child. Good Word of the Day: "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and t

This week's episode is full of goodness! We are so thankful to have our sweet friend, Grace Sharp, on the podcast with us. She is a new foster mom (3 months in!) but previously worked as a Group Home Manager.  For those who don't know what a Group Home is, it is a house (in a regular old neighborhood like yours and ours), where they usually have about 10 foster kids living in this home. Some people also call this Congregate Care.  We agree with Grace that Group Homes are better than nothing, but foster parents would be a far superior alternative. In a foster home (even one that has 10 kids in it) - the main difference is the stability and the consistency of 1 or 2 primary caregivers. As opposed to hired hands, who often quit because the toll this job can take on a person. In this episode, we learned that: PSMAPP classes, which are now 6 weeks long, instead of 11. This involves a 3 hours class once a week, with 4 hours of online classes through the week. This sounds so good! There is a great book called: 'The