Enlightened By Dogs With Kathy Kawalec

In this guest edition of Enlightened by Dogs, Kathy introduces Erin who tells us about her journey with her unexpectedly intense Border Collie, Jess.   Erin, a lovely member of the Brilliant Partners Academy, picked up Jess with the hope of love, joy and adventure. To start off with, things were really hard! Jess’ behaviors left Erin feeling anxious, stressed and even panicked at times.   It all started when they brought home a border collie bundle of joy they named Jess. The puppy was intense and without major 'issues', but Erin was feeling overwhelmed, anxious and often panicked. She was exhausted with worry about making mistakes and thousands of 'worse-case scenarios' played over and over in her mind. Every small behavior issue with the puppy felt BIG, and like a crisis for Erin. Buying books and enrolling in courses and looking for advice to 'fix' everything only left her feeling worried, exhausted and stressed out.   They are in a completely different place now, and Erin shared: "These days, I feel so mu

This week, Kathy turns the spotlight on a member of the Brilliant Partners Academy. Terri joins this Enlightened By Dogs episode to tell the tale of her beloved Bella and their shared transformation.   Terri’s life was turned upside down when they decided to adopt Bella from the local shelter...and quickly found out that EVERYTHING over-aroused her. Bella’s intensity and reactivity made almost everything in life seem impossible and they got into a red zone spiral they couldn't get out of. Terri was feeling angry, frustrated, embarrassed, and sad.   Today? Terri shares: "I never dreamed I would be hiking with BOTH of my dogs, enjoying nature without constantly scanning, and I love having the tools I learned in BPA to keep my little pack safe, calm and happy!"   Every dog has different needs, personality types, and complexities, and the learning process never really ends. In this episode, Terri shares her experiences with Bella and what she’s learned from being a BPA member.   Terri adopted Bella from a shelter

You may think that you’re listening to your dog’s wants and needs, but listening isn’t always what you think it is.   We all want to do what’s best for our dogs. However, sometimes, in the quest for a successful relationship, we can get stuck pursuing traditional training methods that just aren’t working. The reality is, truly listening to your dog can look very different from how you might have imagined it.   When you open up your mind and your heart to your partnership’s possibilities, that’s when things can really start to change ­– especially if you have a reactive dog.   Steph Taleb and her dog, Pow, are a perfect example of how real listening can build a strong, thriving partnership. Steph joined the Brilliant Partners Academy (BPA) back in 2018, looking for a better way to calm and bond with Pow. Their partnership now shows how far you can come when you invest in deeply listening, and in openness. This is their story. It’s a story that never gets old, it’s one of my listener favorites, and mine too!  

Bettina’s life was turned upside down when they decided to adopt Murphy, a deaf dog with OCD, after seeing his handsome face on a rescue website. It quickly became apparent that Murphy had a LOT more going on than a hearing impairment…   Bettina says…”We adopted Murphy knowing his deafness meant special needs, but quickly his OCD behaviors that included tearing out drywall and resource guarding turned our life upside down. Soon it was not only affecting us, but our other dogs too. Bear started reacting to moving cars and bikes and Mary was stressed and showing signs of growing anxiety. Then Bear and Murphy started fighting, so we had to keep them separated.   We couldn’t go for walks anymore and car rides to quiet places didn’t work either because the dogs were crazy in the car now. I felt trapped and ready to rehome Murphy to get our lives back.   Then I saw Kathy’s video and I thought ‘I’ve tried everything – training classes, private behavior sessions, reactive dog classes … I have nothing to lose’. 10 mon

Living with a reactive dog can be a frustrating experience, and as a first-time dog mom, it can be an overwhelming and seriously confusing one as well.   In this episode of Enlightened By Dogs, Kathy revisits a conversation she had with first-time dog mom Paulina Grzesinska-Mrozek.   Paulina was struggling with her dog Badi, who was very reactive to other dogs and people both in their apartment and on walks. Paulina struggled to understand Badi and couldn’t figure out why he always barked at other dogs, people and so many things. This caused Paulina to judge herself and to compare her dog with others, creating more frustration for both of them.   Today, their partnership is strong and built on trust and mutual understanding. Hear about Paulina’s experiences and how she used the BPA partnership principles to achieve this transformation.   In this episode: How Paulina initially struggled to understand Badi’s needs How Paulina and Badi have transformed their partnership together The partnership principles

If you've been struggling with understanding your dog and feeling uncertain about knowing what the right thing to do is,  I have got an episode for you! We're featuring dog moms, my amazing and brilliant students who had the same questions as you, the same struggles as some of you, and the same worry, overwhelm, frustration, disappointment as many of us feel, at least at times.  What I love about my students' stories is that they really paint a picture of what is possible and what it looks like to go from struggling, to feeling happy and enjoying life with their dogs. And I have a feeling that you're going to be inspired and more confident about creating a heart centered life of partnership, connection, and cooperation with your dog.  So, if you sometimes struggle as you try to understand your dog and create a meaningful connection with them … I want you to know that you’re not alone. Many dog moms before you have struggled with confidence in the fact that they are doing right by their dogs. Naturally, once t

In this episode of Enlightened by Dogs, Kathy Kawalec delves into the concept of understanding our dogs' behavior as communication, helping us to move away from frustration. She teaches us how to reframe our thoughts and reactions to our dogs when they don't seem to listen, and to see their actions as an unmet need rather than defiance.    Kathy emphasizes the importance of connecting with our dogs on a deeper level by stepping into their paws and meeting them where they are. This episode offers valuable insights on how to create a stronger bond with our dogs and help them feel valued, loved, and understood, ultimately leading to a more attentive and responsive relationship.   In this episode:   Reframe your thoughts and see your dog's behavior as communication of an unmet need. Connect with your dog on a deeper level and strive for connection instead of correction. Guide and role model your dog by being clear, patient, and engaging in a heart-to-heart connection.   Quotes:   "Behavior is communicatio

In this episode of "Enlightened by Dogs," Kathy takes us on a journey into the captivating world of dog communication and behavior by listening to whispers.    Together, we'll learn how understanding these subtle cues can significantly enhance the bond between you, the loving dog mom, and your canine companion. Discover the importance of recognizing your dog's "whispers" before they escalate into "shouts," and join Kathy as she shares three empowering tips to help you better understand your dog's behavior.    By the end of the episode, you'll be better equipped to nurture trust, encourage calmness, and create a safe and happy space for your beloved dog, truly becoming their best friend.   Key Takeaways:   'Bad behavior' is often a cry for help: Dogs communicate their feelings through actions, and when they feel unheard or misunderstood, their behavior may escalate to get your attention. Pay attention to the signs: Recognizing your dog's subtle cues or "whispers" is crucial for understanding their emotions

In this enlightening episode of "Enlightened by Dogs," host Kathy Kawalec explores the importance of communication as the foundation for building a successful, heart-centered relationship with your dog. Kathy delves into the various aspects of communication, including the exchange of information, ideas, and feelings between you and your dog. Throughout the episode, Kathy emphasizes the importance of a dialogue loop, a two-way exchange between you and your dog that fosters understanding and cooperation.  She shares insights on how humans often inadvertently teach their dogs to ignore them by focusing on training instead of cooperation, or by being distracted and incongruent. To build a strong partnership, Kathy encourages dog moms to be fully aware and consciously communicate with their dogs during every interaction. Kathy also discusses the significance of nonverbal communication and the power of intention in enhancing the partnership with your dog. By understanding the intention behind your dog's choices and

In this episode, we’re digging deeper into what is happening when your dog is triggered, and how to interrupt meltdowns with a pause, breathe, connect technique. Kathy explores the concept of using the natural biology of connection to help our dogs calm down, emphasizing the importance of meeting both our own and our dogs' social needs. As social animals, humans and dogs share many needs, including the needs to feel safe and connected. When these needs are met, trust and cooperation flourish, leading to a more harmonious relationship between you and your dog. Kathy delves into the science behind the autonomic nervous system and how it influences our experiences of safety and connection, drawing from Steven Porges' polyvagal theory. She explains how our nervous systems are constantly seeking connection, and how this affects our dogs as well. Dogs have a calming effect on humans, but our own stress and anxiety can also impact our dogs' nervous systems, making them more reactive. To foster a positive, heart-cent

In this week's episode of Enlightened by Dogs, Kathy Kawalec debunks three common myths around dog obedience training and old thinking that keeps us and our dogs stuck in old unwanted behaviors. As a dog mom, you may have fallen for one, two, or even all three of these myths that have been holding you back from creating a brilliant life with your dog.   Kathy shares her experiences from 20+ years of coaching, mentoring, and instructing other dog moms, helping them achieve a level of success with their dogs they never thought was possible. She believes that focusing on transactions and training behaviors is not the most effective way to live successfully with dogs.   Instead, she suggests going right to the root cause of behaviors and meeting both your needs and your dog's needs as social mammals. Once you start focusing on understanding your dog and meeting their needs, you'll see real progress towards creating a fulfilling partnership with them.   If you're ready to change the way you approach dog behavior a

In this episode, Kathy leads a discussion about your dog’s personality traits, how that relates to their behavior, and why this matters. This deeper understanding of your dog's personality will foster a stronger bond and create a more cooperative environment between you and your dog.   By looking into the "shadow traits" that may be the hidden drivers of your dog’s more challenging behaviors, dog moms can gain a better sense of how to better communicate with their pup.    To help dog moms reframe their dog’s behavior and traits, Kathy shares the special superpower traits each dog has that could be nurtured with the right understanding. These superpower traits include Organizers having the superpower of persistence, Sages the superpower of curiosity, and Explorers the superpower of driven.    By better understanding and nurturing these traits, dogs can become more cooperative and patient, and dog moms will be able to see their dogs for the clever, intelligent, adventurous, strong and powerful dogs that really

In this episode, Kathy celebrates the connection between women and their dogs as a source of strength, vulnerability, and empathy.    This unique approach draws from the power within, taking the focus away from outdated approaches of power-over and dominance to one of collaboration and connection. By fostering a partnership with our dogs, we are showing them the respect they deserve, and contributing to a new age of leading with love and empathy.    Kathy shares her big “why,” and her inspiration to help dog moms to experience a full and happy life that brings them closer to their dogs. She talks about the true meaning of power and why it doesn’t mean what we’ve been conditioned to think it does.   If you’re ready to be inspired, and proud to be a dog mom, this is the episode for you!   In this episode:   We are healing from generations of cultural and societal conditioning and working towards a more cooperative way of living with our dogs. By partnering with our dogs we can support them to be respected m

Join Kathy Kawalec in a heartfelt discussion on the importance of connection and creating a legacy of kindness and cooperation that will positively affect generations to come.   In this episode of "Enlightened by Dogs," host Kathy Kawalec invites you to explore your legacy as a dog mom and to consider how you can make a positive impact on the world through your relationship with your dogs.    As conscious dog moms, we have the opportunity and a responsibility to create a better world for us and our dogs, and that's exactly what Kathy explores in this episode.   Drawing on the wisdom of Marianne Williamson and her own experiences, Kathy emphasizes the importance of connection and self-discovery in creating a fulfilling and meaningful life with our dogs.   Kathy discusses the unique partnership between humans and dogs, and how this partnership can lead to mutual growth and connection when approached with empathy, compassion, and a willingness to listen to our dogs' honest communication.    She encourages listen

There are lots of things that can happen outside our home that can set our dogs off on a barking or reactive spiral that disrupts the peace. Landscapers, construction workers, things in the sky, oh my! The good news is that our dogs look to us for clues on how to behave, so when we are a solid role model, it can change everything!   In this episode, Kathy will share some real-life examples with her own dogs, where she was able to be a role model for her dogs and prevent reactive behavior from developing or escalating.   Because dogs easily mirror our behavior, that means that when we learn to be responsible for our own behavior, our dogs start to learn ‘how we do things’.  Kathy gives you three really clear examples that you use in your own life with your dogs.   In order for role modeling to work well with your own dogs, you'll need to start with some foundation principles. Take note of the four steps Kathy shares as your takeaway action steps to get started. In this episode:   Kathy gives a few persona

What is the best thing to do when your dog is “protecting” you in an unwanted way that is damaging to you physically and emotionally?   Today Kathy is sharing a segment from a coaching call in from her Brilliant Partners Academy to discuss this exact situation…   This dog mom has a retired service dog who is feeling anxious right now, due to an allergy flareup, a new puppy in the family, and stress all around. Lola (the dog) has lately started overprotecting her human mom when delivery people come to their door. She is pulling really, really hard and almost pulling Diane out of her wheelchair.   Kathy works through the details and talks her student through the difference between when a dog is protecting us because it's clearly unsafe and we appreciate their protection, and when a dog is dangerously taking on a protective role unnecessarily.   What do we do? Well, there's this balance between permissive and clear and kind. We can focus on finding a balance that brings freedom and responsibility together, in or

In this episode Kathy talks about the importance of creating a deeper connection with our dogs as a way to avoid over-arousal. When dogs are keen about animals, she emphasizes that we should stay present, observe, and communicate with our dogs as we guide and support their development.    Kathy is sharing a segment where she is coaching one of her students who has a young border collie who is showing keen interest in the sheep and horses on her farm. They work out how to best handle the situation right now, and how to prepare for future developments as her dog matures.   She also discusses the importance of adjusting our plan when things change and our dogs become keen to work or show signs of over-arousal. This means paying attention to subtle changes in behavior and body language that may indicate a shift in their mindset.    By staying present, connected and responsive, you can help your dog feel supported and understood, which ultimately strengthens your bond and improves their ability to be cooperative.

Join us today as Kathy discusses the impact of reward-based obedience training on the relationship with our dogs. She explains how a transactional approach can damage trust and make cooperation difficult.    The transactional dynamic of reward-based training can lead to power imbalances, erode trust, and cause stress and anxiety for dogs. On the other hand, building a partnership based on trust and love creates a natural and fluid dynamic where dogs are motivated to cooperate without being rewarded for performing specific behaviors.   Embrace a new way of living with your dog that prioritizes trust and love over obedience and rewards.    In this episode:   The problems with reward-based obedience training and the transactional dynamic it creates. The power imbalances that arise in a relationship that is focused on transactions. The benefits of a partnership-based approach that is built on love, connection and trust. The negative effects of compliance and obedience-based training include increased stre

In this episode, host Kathy Kawalec shares five tips on how you can deepen your love and connection with your dog. Through a story about a dog mom named Sarah and her dog who had a challenging past, listeners will learn how to implement the following tips in their own lives: How to spend quality time with your dog in small ways that matter Building trust with your dog by creating a safe and loving environment How to approach your relationship with your dog as a partnership Calming your dog's over-aroused behavior through cooperative activities Strategies for celebrating love and connection, patience and understanding   Kathy shares how each of these tips helped Sarah deepen her connection with her dog, and provides practical advice for listeners to start incorporating these tips into their daily routines. This episode is a must-listen for any dog mom looking to improve their relationship with their dog.   Listen now and learn how to “unleash the love and deepen the connection” with your four-legge

“I want my dogs to wait at the gate or doorway and to take turns… Why?  Because I want to minimize chaos. I don't want dogs running into each other, hurting each other, or running into me and hurting me. I want some order, so we are all safe, calm, and happy.” This is Kathy’s example of a real-life scenario when she’s showing the framework for giving her dogs choices.    This episode of Enlightened by Dogs is the continuation of the discussion that Kathy had in Episode 247.    So if you haven’t listened to it yet, you might want to pause this, and go and listen to that episode. Then, come back here for more details and valuable information about the framework for providing your furry friends with real-life choices.   Kathy also shares some prime real-life examples of giving your dogs opportunities to say yes or no, and how to decide when an ask is necessary and when it’s not. She also explains the idea of how this whole chain of events works together so that you can easily use her framework  in your own life