Make Room For Sports

Only Simon and Mikal show up for the episode and it's unclear if they cover Sports News or not.  They do discuss prunes and O.J. Simpson. Don't bother emailing us.

After a brief, unnecessary discussion of Jordan Peterson, we offer the definitive word on Mikal and Simon's trip to the Spurs/Clippers game, what happened to Joel Embiid, why Markelle Fultz is a tragic hero, the Connor McGregor UFC 223 thing, and Kevin Shiflett, America's premier chin balancer.  We explain our new feelings about the kiss cam for 2018, which differ from our feelings on it from 2017. Mikal again confronts his Gatorade addiction but misspells his name. Trigger Warning: at the end of the episode, we make the terrible mistake of opening up the MRFS phone line and we receive a truly harrowing call from Grayson Allen. It does not go well. Help us help you: makeroomforsports@gmail.com

The first episode of 2018 in which all four of the MRFS guys manage to show up.  And they really regret it.  After a few months sabbatical, the sports groove is gone.  Too bad since Simon managed to set up an interview with Tom Brady, who talks way too much about Giselle and some other semi-offensive stuff, while the MRFS guys are mysteriously quiet. The episode also features brief commentary on Duke's loss, which can be blamed on Grayson Allen.  The guys honor Sports Day, the beginning of the sports year, which everyone knows is every March 25th.  Mikal gives a sneak preview of his book report on the biography of MLB hero Roberto Clemente.  Mikal also tries to share some knowledge on lesser known sports such at Wife Carrying and Chess Boxing.  And the most average sized NBA player is revealed!  We apologize in advance.

We're back with another hour of the most true sports facts permissible by law, including some thoroughly on-brand stories: Blake Griffin's injury at the hands of JaVale McGee, the Brown's 0-16 parade, the Chiefs second half debacle, and Jon Gruden's catch phrases. PLUS: why do voice's crack, Joel Embiid and Markelle Fultz went to the mall, Weekend at Bernie's theory, Dr. J is OK again, what's up the score 33 in football, Andrew Bogut got released, and Bills and Bengals fans are doing something or other with buffalo wings. Help us help you: makeroomforsports@gmail.com

Simon is out this week getting his braces fixed.  As a result, we offer a powerful reading of Kobe Bryant's epistolary masterwork "Dear Basketball," which raises meaningful questions about contemporary poetry, split-screens, socks, kenpark, and, eventually, Jose Canseco. Then Dave reports on the Magic Johnson/Isaiah Thomas friendship summit, updates us on how we should feel about Russell Westbrook, and drops some sincere knowledge about NBA scoring trends and analytics. Mike then floats his self-loathing theory that WHITE NERDS are the worst kind of fan, and finally Mikal tries to avoid a thoroughly problematic conversation about gender roles when he explains why boys are attracted to trains and balls.  And we forget to do Top Plays of the Week. Help us help you: makeroomforsports@gmail.com

We recorded this episode MERE MINUTES after God smote the knee of Carson Wentz, and as result, Mike's emotional state is so compromised that his weird vibe settled on the whole crew, resulting in our most PROBLEMATIC and DEPRESSING episode ever. Simon regales us with his story about the clock malfunction at the Clippers/Wizards game he recently attended, we re-break the news of the time M. Night Shyamalan compelled Bryan Cranston to spank Tony Parker, and bumble through a segment on the Daryl Takahashi cat saga. Then Mikal finds a website about NBA cats and uses it to teach Mike something about being a man, who subsequently offers a SHOWSTOPPING REFERENCE to John Keats and half-recalls a story about Kevin Durant Hiding from Demarcus "Boogie" Cousins. At the end, and with the force of ONE THOUSAND WINDS, Mikal brings forth a Gatorade Hot Five Top Five.

Our mysterious fan from Hong Kong emerges with a guest spot on today's episode and teaches us about Chinese sports, Canadian sports, Badminton, the Grey Cup, and watching the NFL in China. To our delight, he surprises us with his sports knowledge, shares some childhood details, and talks about brushing his teeth. Simon accidentally stumbles upon an idea for a great movie premise, Mikal is only vaguely problematic once or twice, Demarcus "Boogie" Cousins is mentioned exactly once, and we field a Chinese Dragon Racing team. Help us help you: makeroomforsports@gmail.com @makeroom4sports on Twitter

Another week, another epic episode of sports news delivered by the only people left who understand sports.  Simon comes out strong as we discuss Eli Manning being euthanized, old school colognes like Drakkar Noir, the flammability of Brut, the sadness of watching the Sixers blow a strong lead, the possibility of Joel Embiid's top-notch shit talking actually being a sign of some deep-seeded insecurity, Mikal hearing a beeping sound no one else hears, TJ McConnell being worth it, what the coach said to Giannis Antetokounmpo that made him say the F-word, how virginity affects sports play, and the introduction of the theory that everyone on the 76ers is a virgin.

The Sixers swelled and then punctured America's heart in their loss to known ISIS supporters the Golden State Warriors, but that's okay because our despair is zinger-friendly. Mikal gives a Gatorade addiction update, we talk about microphones for some reason, and then, around the halfway point, things heat up: we figure out the LiAngelo Ball thing, Dave provides a few consumer safety reports (it's likely you've consumed glass), and we spend, unbelievably, more than ten minutes distinguishing between Jusef Nurkic and Nikola Jokic. At the end, with nowhere to turn, we see who can name the most animals in fifteen seconds. Help us help you: makeroomforsports@gmail.com @makeroom4sports on Twitter

We return to two long-overlooked corners of the show: MIKAL'S DROPS and TOP PLAYS OF THE WEEK. We also blabber about whether the Sixers are too fun, and why Thursday Night Football is dumb, and how popular we were at our friend's wedding. Dave has a story about meeting the Islanders' chef, Simon explains the Keurig coffee controversy, and we still dislike Bill Simmons and Malcolm Gladwell.   Help us help you:   makeroomforsports@gmail.com @makeroom4sports on Twitter

Disclaimer: We do not mention LiAngelo Ball in this episode. https://www.aol.com/article/news/2017/11/08/liangelo-ball-and-ucla-teammates-could-face-3-10-years-in-prison-if-convicted-of-shoplifting/23270456/

We venture deep, deep into the forest of our love for YOU, THE LISTENER, and return with MAXIMUM ZINGERS PER MINUTE about the odds of Colin Kaepernick getting indicted by Robert Mueller, a timely primer on DORF DOES GOLF, and the best NFL theme songs. Because of the particular conditions of our parole, we're obligated to explain what we think football coaches should wear in the rain, but with that business out of the way, we are free to serve PIPING HOT KNOWLEDGE ENTREES to satiate what most hungers you: What's up with Markelle Fultz? Why is Bob McNair so awful? Is Marshawn Lynch the coolest? Why did Kiko Alonso carry Taylor Gabriel? How can our own Dave Dominique forgive himself for a 1980s baseball incident on the playground? Why and how are the World Series baseballs lubed up? We also announce an exciting eventual partnership with Big Baller Brand, get to the bottom of the Thunder's numinous plane dent thing, and Mike tries yet again to articulate his Lacanian analysis of quarterback futility and is saved,

Without rhyme or reason, we deliver unto you: a spirited roundtable of World Series talk (it'll be hot, or something); a rough sketch of the Eastern Conference's imminent rise to power, with a special focus on Joel Embiid and Giannis Antetokounmpo; and more talk than is, strictly speaking, necessary about the following: a yelp review of a supermarket in Couer d'Alene, Idaho; a sad eyes contest between Andre Drummond and Anthony Davis; who knows what about whether or not Markelle Fultz has the yips or a bad shoulder; and, believe it or not, much, much more. Help us help you: makeroomforsports@gmail.com @makeroom4sports on Twitter

America's only podcast delivers correct opinions on the Roger Federer/Klay Thompson ping pong match, the First Annual WHO IS THE NBA KING OF MAKE ROOM FOR SPORTS Gambling Challenge, and NFL Week Six updates, including celebration sub-updates. Most importantly, we introduce the new NBA season, so of course we can't stop ourselves from talking about Andrew Bogut and Zaza Pachulia for ten minutes, but lucky for you we also offer in-depth predictions for the Warriors, Thunder, Rockets, Sixers, Brook Lopezes, and Pelicans.   Help us help you:   makeroomforsports@gmail.com @ makeroom4sports on Twitter

Don't worry, America, we're back with another week of correct opinions on what matters most: Christian Pulisic's savior status, Steve Bartman and this week's near-Bartman incident, Jeremy Lin's dreadlocks, a goalie whose helmet has an image of the Iverson stepover, Yasiel Puig's sexy antics and Sports Kink in general, and Kevin McHale's James Harden appraisal. We also form actual English sentences about things done or said by Enes Kantor, Carmello Anthony, the 49ers, and the WNBA finals. Plus: Mike Pence takes in some gridiron action, Mikal has anger issues, and much, much more! Help us help you: makeroomforsports@gmail.com @makeroom4sports on Twitter

Week Four of the NFL is in the can, and America's most celebrated sports bros bring you the final word on what happened, including live updates from Dave throughout the episode. We also cover Jason Peters signing a prosthetic leg, the NFL guy whose wife claims he was tricked into protesting, Juju Smith-Schuster's touchdown celebration, the hockey league that time forgot, Carlos Ruiz shouting names of animals to get amped before games, watching sports on Amazon, game three of the WNBA finals, Lonzo Ball doing something or other, and Mikal's recipe for moonshine Gatorade. Help us help you: makeroomforsports@gmail.com @makeroom4sports

We flap our gums about the national anthem protests that swept through the league on Sunday, and the counter protests, and Trump's pro-concussion stance. Then we get into Aaron Hernandez's CTE diagnosis and his daughter's forthcoming lawsuit against the NFL, Odell Beckham Jr.'s piss dance, PLAYS OF THE WEEK, Week Three's installment of America's favorite new segment Guess Who Won?, and the Kevin Durant burner Twitter account fiasco. On a sad note, Mikal breaks some upsetting Andrew Bogut news to Simon. Help us help you: makeroomforsports@gmail.com @makeroom4sports on Twitter IMPORTANT LINKS: Jake Elliott's game winning field goal: http://deadspin.com/eagles-beat-giants-with-rookie-kicker-s-buzzer-beating-1818707327 Durant burner Twitter: https://www.cbssports.com/nba/news/joel-embiid-and-rest-of-nba-twitter-poke-fun-at-kevin-durants-social-media-habits/ Marcus Cooper's fumble: https://www.si.com/nfl/2017/09/24/chicago-bears-marcus-cooper-sr-leon-lett-fumble-endzone-video Lebron James mocks Trum

Simon's entwined in yet another web of lies in "San Antonio," but the remaining bros BRING THEIR A+ GAME and cover the Rockets sale to Tilmon Fertitta (not, as we'd hoped, Beyonce). Mike reminisces about going to church with Tshitenge Mutumbo and growing up watching Manute Bol, and then doubles down on his Tall Persons Die First theory; we introduce a new segment called WEIGHT UPDATE; Mikal shares the story of Hailey Dawson, who wants to be the first person with a 3-D printed hand to throw out the first pitch in every MLB stadium, and Dave breaks the news of Rafael Nadal's big US Open victory, which prompts us to hold an impromptu, interminable round of Dreamboat or Shipwreck. We get A LITTLE BIT CONFUSED about the difference between official sports media and Mikal's younger friends and are thereby momentarily convinced of an improbable trade, and our audio gets blurry, but we get back on track and figure out whether Anthony Davis can shit talk in the locker room if he has to, and what Future is talking about

Choosing service over self, Mikal continues his fan fiction about the misadventures of Rajon Rondo and DeMarcus "Boogie" Cousins.

We welcome our friend and Dallas Cowboys Superfan Jess Holloway, who despite our incredulity convinces us of the existence of something called Jerry World, a location in Texas where an oilman has entombed a big TV and some art. Then we talk about fantasy football, which confuses and frightens us, and sexy touchdown celebrations, and finally, we get updates on Ezekiel Elliott, Colin Kaepernick, sad Jets fans from Hoboken, and the Cleveland Police, who are, like, protesting.   Help us help you: @makeroom4sports on Twitter                        makeroomforsports@gmail.com     HELPFUL LINKS   Gerald McCoy tests NFL rule prohibiting sexy dances: http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-network-hard-knocks/0ap3000000830288/Hard-Knocks-McCoy-tests-boundaries-of-new-celebration-rule