Locker Room

In this episode Scott talks with Jason Martinkus who leads Redemptive Living, which helps men who are struggling to restore their sexual integrity.  Jason shared about being introduced to pornography at a young age and the effects it had on him. Unfortunately, many men can relate to his experience. If appropriate, share with the group your first introduction to pornography and the effect it has had on you. "Swearing every time would be the last and then hating myself when it happened again" - I think we've all been there before, even the apostle Paul can relate. Read Romans 7:14-25. Why does this seem to be part of the human experience? What does it mean to for us to have two powers at war inside of our minds or to be slaves to sin? Why did Paul choose that language? Jason said, "you're not going to heal without the truth being on the table". What is it about bringing things into the light to allow them to be healed? (Imagine a doctor performing surgery in the dark) If we all agree with that principle, then

This is part 2 of Scott’s discussion with Gary Black. Gary shared about the "exchanged life"; trading a performance-based, approval-seeking mentality for the unconditional love and acceptance God is offering. How did he say that revolutionized his understanding of how God sees him? Did that resonate with you in any way? When God walks in the room, He smiles at you. He not only loves you He also likes you. Is that hard for you to believe? What would change if you believed that every day as you went throughout your day? How do legalism and shame keep us from letting God love us? What lies are we believing when we allow those things to tell us what God thinks of us? Romans 8:1 reminds us that there is now no condemnation for those in Christ. What truths did Gary emphasize from that verse? What we build our identity around is key. How can you lay down the "performance-driven life" while still being productive, setting goals, and working to achieve them?  When was the last time you did an honest evaluation of gra

In this episode Scott sits down with Gary Black. Gary shares the wisdom he has gained through decades of marriage, ministry, and manhood. Just to get the conversation rolling: have you ever been mugged or had a scary encounter similar to that? Share your story. God called Gary to overcome his fear of public speaking to preach the Gospel. What is a fear, insecurity, or doubt you have had that God has used to spread the Gospel and expand His Kingdom? Gary’s fear originated with insecurities from his childhood. What hurts or pains from your childhood still plague you today? You have an audience of one... Jesus. Are you playing for the grandstand or the coach? Are you living to gain accolades and praises from other people or are you receiving your self worth from Jesus? The reason God’s opinion of you is the only one that matters is because He created you; you are His. How do you struggle living out this truth? Who you are at home is who you really are. So who are you at home? When men are unhealthy, we tend to

In this episode Scott addresses what is commonly referred to as toxic masculinity. What have been your thoughts, interactions, or assumptions about the term “toxic masculinity?” What are some of society's problems that have placed the blame on toxic masculinity? Watch this Gillette commercial. What are your reactions? Do you agree or disagree with it? Why? Scott says there is no such thing as toxic masculinity because if it is toxic, it is not masculine. To be masculine is to be like Jesus because Jesus is the essence of masculinity. How does this truth challenge or sharpen what you have believed to be true about masculinity? The essence of manhood is responsibility. As men, we even need to take responsibility to help be a part of the solution to problems we didn’t cause. What are some situations you sense God calling you to be a part of the solution to by taking responsibility? As a father to a son, how are you helping him to understand and act out a biblical view of masculinity? As fathers of daughters, ho

In this episode, Scott, Chris, and Derrick continue their conversation and discuss work/life balance. For a lot of men, there is a struggle between home and work. Just because you live at home does not mean that you are present and pouring into those you are called to protect. Where do you feel the tension most with home vs. work? A common cultural lie is that we find our primary purpose in life from our careers. How would you say you have fallen victim to this? We need to leave work at work: What are some practices you put in place—or need to put in place—so that you can transition from work mode to home/family mode? Chris Hahn mentioned tracking your hours so you can get an honest look at how productive you really are with your time and discover areas where you can tighten up with productivity. Have you ever done this? What are some moments in your day where you could be more productive so you can be more present at home? A lot of what we do daily is based on what season of life we are in. What season of l

This is the wrap up of Scott and Chad’s conversation. Men are shaped dramatically between the ages of 12 and 20. Looking back, for good or ill, what are some significant ways you were formed in those years of your life? What was lacking for you? What was invested or built into you in a good way and who made those deposits? Talk about ways you might be able to invest in the lives of young men. Many lessons learned early in life become important to lifelong success. Chad found a way to allow the game of football to help develop people. How can you do that through a game? Or your work? Or through the role(s) you fill in your home? When we get deeply involved in something—in a game, our work, school—we can find aspects of what we do get woven into our identity. We heard some great advice in this podcast: “Separate what you do from who you are.” Until 2007, the game of football was Chad’s “god”. So the Lord had to take the joy in it away for a time, until it was put in its proper place. Chad even said he was the

Scott and former NFL quarterback Chad Pennington discuss the many things Chad’s learned through playing football and his passion to build into boys and young men. What might it look like for you to use your passions and gifts to give back to others? Who could benefit the most from you stepping up and stepping in to share what God has entrusted to you? “The greatest gift you can give your children is yourself.” What does this statement say to you about your relationship with your parents? What does it say about what you have to offer your own kids or younger people you may influence? Chad’s dad stepped down to coach freshmen so he could see his son play. Ask yourself this really hard question: Is there anything you do, personally or professionally, that is stealing from the most important people in your life? What do you think you need to do in response to this realization? If you’re not sure, pray in the coming days and ask God what He is trying to reveal to you. Chad mentioned the team-approach he and his w

Scott introduces Southland’s new women’s podcast: Defined. In this first episode, we introduce this podcast and outline the vision for redefining women’s conversations. You can listen to episodes of Defined here or subscribe on iTunes. Thanks for tuning in!

Vinnie Lopez is a former professional MMA fighter and current owner of Vital Strength and fitness in Denver Colorado. He is also a professional coach of several current fighters both in the UFC and outside of it. In this episode Vinnie and Scott discuss Vinnie’s story and what he is currently passionate about.   Discussion Questions: Vinnie had a rough childhood and was essentially left to fend for himself. Now, looking back, what did he say he’s learned from those experiences? How is that being redeemed for good? Ironically, MMA fighting was the thing that softened Vinnie’s heart enough to let Jesus in. What things would you point to in your life that softened your heart to hear and respond to the gospel? Vinnie’s whole life has been about pushing through painful or difficult situations and coming out on the other side. What happens when we go through the fire? What do we learn about ourselves? Everybody avoids pain differently. How do you try to get around it or take the easy route? What habits do we need

Scott and Jon attended one of Jordan Peterson’s lectures. In this episode they share their thoughts on the message Jordan Peterson brings to men. Discussion Questions: Before this podcast had you heard of Jordan Peterson? Had you heard about his opposition to legislation, his lectures, or his book 12 Rules of Life? A lot of young men are drawn to Peterson because of our need for someone who will speak truth into our lives and provide us with high challenge. Why do men gravitate to that? Do you see this “father-hunger” void show up in other areas? Read 1 Corinthians 4:14. Who would you say have been spiritual guides or spiritual fathers in your life? Jon and Scott talked about wrestling, hunting, sports, etc. There seems to be an innate physicality to boys and men, do you agree or disagree? Why? Read John 5:19-20, 8:28. What can we learn from Jesus’ relationship with his Father? Share what you think about Peterson’s quote, “If you want to make dangerous men, make weak boys.” C.S. Lewis said, “We make men with

In this episode, Scott discusses the famous story of David and Goliath. David showed patience towards Saul because he trusted in God’s anointing and timing for him. In what area of your life do you need to trust God and His timing? How could patience change your current situation? “Faith pushes us through our fears.” Talk about a fear or anxiety you have faced lately. What is faith calling you to do in response? Goliath focused on the physical, David focused on God. In what area of your life do you need to look to Jesus instead of your own abilities? David shows us that God can use whoever he wants, however he wants, whenever he wants. And God is greater than any giant we could face. What giant are you currently up against? How can you trust God’s ability in light of that? Read 1 Samuel 17:48-54. Goliath was ultimately defeated with his own weapon which was a foreshadow of how Satan would one day be defeated by what he thought was his own weapon, the cross. The cross secures our victory over our enemy. What

Jennifer is the first female guest on Locker Room! In this episode she shares with us some of what she's learned about men through many years of counseling. Jennifer Wallace says that her job consists of “listening to people's stories.” Take a moment to think about the high point and low point of your past week. Share your story. The number one reason men do not seek help is because of pride; we are unwilling to look weak. How is this true for you, specifically? Our struggles today are rooted in our past. Either we did not receive things we should have, or things were done to us that should not have been. Which has affected you more? How? Recently men have been more willing to come forth and admit to Jennifer that they need help because they are “tired of feeling stuck.” Where and why do you feel stuck? In what area of your life have you settled for the lie that “things are never going to change?” (example: relationships, career, addictions) Why do you believe this? Common obstacles that keep men from gettin

Scott and Patrick talk about the challenges men and women have in communicating with one another. Did you grow up in a family where it was encouraged to communicate and share your feelings? Was it ok to cry or did you feel like you were supposed to hide? How was your dad as a communicator? (Overly aggressive or overly passive, failing to engage, etc.) Read Genesis 3:6-11. How is our shame deeply rooted in the original Fall of man? What are the consequences of covering up or shoving down our shame? What is the fear of being naked and vulnerable? How is Paul trying to flip this idea back around in Ephesians 5:25-33? How is he challenging men to be initiators, to be proactive, and to start the conversation? Patrick said this is so tough for men because you are “taking the risk of being seen and being weak”. Is it hard for you to venture into areas where you feel incompetent? When someone shares a problem or concern, do you find yourself dismissing it, going straight to trying to fix it, or seeking to listen and

In this episode Scott talks to former Major League Baseball player Austin Kearns. Austin talks about the importance of failure, mental toughness, his love for coaching and being a dad. Group Questions   Share a baseball related story with the group. Maybe your famous little league days or best ballpark you’ve got to see a game in. Austin spent 3yrs in the minor leagues before 11yrs in the majors. What kind of mental toughness would you have to develop during that stage of your career? The major league baseball season is long - 162 games, with all the travel, the hotel rooms, being away from family, etc. But as they say “You gotta perform to stay”. Do you ever feel that kind of pressure at your job? Austin said, “I always learned the most from failure”. How is failure such a great teacher? What do you learn about yourself when you fail? Mental toughness in dealing with adversity is a key in baseball and in life. Discuss 1 Peter 1:13 and 2 Timothy 4:5 Why is mental toughness commanded in the Bible? Austin shar

In this episode Scott talks about what we can learn from Elijah. Discussion Questions: Read 1 Kings 17. How did God demonstrate his provision for Elijah out in the desert? What was he teaching Elijah? What do you think Elijah was thinking when God sent him to live with a widow and her son? What would you think of God’s plan if you were in this story? How did God continue to show his provision, to both Elijah and the widow’s family? Read 1 Kings 18:19-39 Before this showdown on Mt. Carmel, do you think Elijah thought about running away? Or do you think he was so excited he couldn’t wait? What details of the story stuck out to you? As readers & listeners to Elijah’s life, what are we learning about God’s character? Read 1 Kings 19:1-18. Often after our greatest victories, we face our greatest temptations. Share a time when that has happened in your own life. What is the significance of God showing up in a gentle whisper instead of the wind, earthquake or fire? At times in these stories Elijah showed extrem

Ross has been a member at Southland for many years and is chairman of the elder team. Ross talks about what it looks like to extend grace to others out of the grace that's been extended to him. Ross mentioned “difference makers” along his path that he can look back and see was God continually pursuing him. Coaches, guidance counselors, friend’s parents, etc. Who have been “difference makers” in your life? Extending grace to lost and broken people is our mission. How does Jesus demonstrate that for us? (Romans 5:6-11 & 1 John 4:10) Because of the grace we’ve received, we get to give that to others. Do you hold non-Christians to the same standard as Christians? What’s the difference between condoning sinful behavior and extending grace? Ross said never think of people as projects or think you’re better than others. What can we do to cultivate that mindset and outlook? (Romans 12:2) Everyone has a sphere of influence. Who would you say is in your sphere of influence currently? How are you building relations

Rorke is a Navy Seal, author, actor,hunter, husband and father. Rorke speaks all over the country for different organizations. On today’s podcast he and Scott wrap up their talk on leadership. Discussion Questions: A lot of men aren’t avid readers. What about you? Why do you or don’t you read? Would you recommend other men to do the same? What do we miss out on when we just Google everything in the moment? How can that affect us both short term and long term? Rorke said “information won’t be committed to memory where it can be weaponized,” what does he mean by that? And why is it important to know more than just a few bullet points or sound bites? When and where could you start reading more? What sort of things would you like to read that would challenge you intellectually and spiritually? “Leaders do not take, we give. We don’t command, we serve.” What do you think about that axiom from Rorke? What are the “misnomers of manhood” in our culture today? What do others think is “manly” that actually is a bad or

Rorke is a Navy Seal, author, actor, hunter, husband and father. Rorke speaks all over the country for different organizations. On today’s podcast he and Scott talk about leadership. Group Questions Scott and Rorke talked about Navy Seal training. It's purpose isn’t to make people something they are not, but to reveal who a person already is. What are the trials and challenges in your life revealing about your character? Rorke uses the sign off, “Ever onward.” What is the purpose behind this phrase? How does it challenge and encourage you? We live in a culture that actively tries to avoid pain and discomfort. What are some ways we do that every day? Why is suffering/discomfort good for us? How can you proactively seek challenge and hardship? Rorke says, “Train constantly. In the heat of battle, we don’t rise to the occasion, we degrade to our level of training. So train hard.” How have you seen this in your life? What one area of your life do you need to put in the effort to reach “unconscious competence?” I

In this episode Scott talks about what we can learn from Gideon. Group Questions Read Judges 6:11-40. What is your first impression of Gideon? What do you learn about God in this passage? In the podcast, Scott said, “God refers to his people not as who they currently are, but who they will be one day.” How does that encourage you? What was the key ingredient to Gideon’s “valor?” and success? Have your circumstances ever clouded your ability to see what God is doing or could do? Share about a time when this happened. Gideon fought a battle with only 300 men. Why would God do that? Has He ever placed you in an impossible situation? What did you learn about Him through that experience? What are some things God has shown you to do in His Word? Are you obeying?

Jon Weece and Scott Nickell introduce season two of the Locker Room, asking the questions, "Where are men?" And, "What are our hopes for men?" Group Questions: 1. What was the “manliest” thing you did this summer? 2. What does culture say about masculinity? What influences that definition? Where should Christ followers get their definition of masculinity? 3. Read Romans 5:12-17. How is Jesus the redeemed man? What do we learn about masculinity by looking at him? 4. Why is masculinity important? How does it impact the family? 5. Did you have a father who wanted to be a friend or a father who modeled for you what biblical manhood looks like? How did that impact who you are today? 6. What are some topics / tools you hope to pass along to the next generation of men? What do you want the women in your life to learn about biblical masculinity? 7. Are you stuck anywhere in life? Is there an area in life where you are delaying commitment out of fear? 8. How are you tempted to engage more in “fantasy world” than in fa